Agent Caitlin Todd: I can't give him Air Force One floor plans! They're top secret!
Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Come on. I saw all this in a Harrison Ford movie.
Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: NCIS does not leak. These plans get out... you can shoot DiNozzo.
Agent Caitlin Todd: No, I think I'm destined to shoot you.
Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Rule Number One: Never let suspects stay together...
Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Rule Number Two: Always were gloves at a crime scene...
Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Rule Number Three: Don't believe what you're told. Double check.
Agent Caitlin Todd: Look, don't dismiss me like that! Okay? I earned my jockstrap!
Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Yeah? Does it ever give that empty feeling?
Agent Caitlin Todd: What?
Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Your jockstrap.
Agent Caitlin Todd: No. Like some species of frogs, I grow what I need.
Security Guard: NCIS? Anything like CSI?
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Only if you're dyslexic.
Abby Sciuto: You dudes in the Secret Service ever think about throwing yourselves in front of the President's diet?
Secret Service Agent William Baer: [about Gibbs] He's here because his gut's still churning, isn't it?
Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: You know, Abby, nature always proves to be a far more elusive and powerful killer than man.
NCIS Director Tom Morrow: Did you really have to slam the door on the F.B.I.?
Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: There were more of them than us.
NCIS Director Tom Morrow: There's always more of them than us. What about this Secret Service agent? She willing to stand up to the F.B.I.?
Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: I don't know. She's got balls.
Coroner Elmo Poke: Well, it looks like Ducky decided to take the body to Washington.
Sr. FBI Agent T.C. Fornell: Why's your medical examiner taking the body to Washington?
Coroner Elmo Poke: I never said he was my medical examiner.
Sr. FBI Agent T.C. Fornell: Then who the hell's medical examiner is he?
Coroner Elmo Poke: Ducky? He works for N.C.I.S.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [to Fornell before slamming closed the hatch of Air Force One] Sorry, we, uh, overbooked the flight.
Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: I do believe this is a dead Naval Officer.
Agent Caitlin Todd: Onboard Air Force One.
Sr. FBI Agent T.C. Fornell: We're back in the ball game.
Agent Caitlin Todd: Doctor, he just had lunch with the President.
Secret Service Doctor: Oh, god.
Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Did you enjoy playing my boss?
Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: I did, rather.
Coroner Elmo Poke: Hello, Ducky. How'd you like them steaks I air-expressed you?
Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Delicious.
Sr. FBI Agent T.C. Fornell: He air-expressed him steaks?
Agent Caitlin Todd: It's a big state. Look how long it took them to get here.
Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Hey! Cockpit's on the top deck.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I knew that.

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