Memorable quotes for
Superhero Movie (2008) More at IMDb Pro »

Uncle Albert: With great power comes... ow!
Rick Riker: Great responsibility? Try to breathe!
Uncle Albert: I can't. You're kneeling on my balls!

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Uncle Albert: [to Rick about a book on puberty] There are mood swings, fluid retention, and once a month you'll bleed from your vagina.
[awkward pause]
Uncle Albert: This may be the wrong book.

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Rick Riker: I'm not wearing any diamonds.

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Rick Riker: [during a prolonged conversation with Jill while plummeting from a rooftop] This is a really tall building.

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Lou Landers: [before death] Oh fuck.

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Uncle Albert: God, Lucille! How could you take her away from me! I can't live without her! Lucille! Snookie lumps!
Undertaker: I'm sorry, there's been a terrible mistake. This is your wife.
Uncle Albert: [sees Lucille in other casket] Ah!
Undertaker: She is this man's wife.
Uncle Albert: Give me five minutes.

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Tom Cruise: [clapping with each syllable to emphasize his point] Old MacDonald had a farm and Bingo was his name - o.

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Uncle Albert: [lovingly] Your thighs look like warm cottage cheese someone threw up on a hot sidewalk.
Aunt Lucille Adams: And you've always had a tiny penis.
Uncle Albert: Well, what does it matter when you're in love?

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Priest: We are gathered today to say goodbye to Lucille Adams.
Mourners: Goodbye!

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Uncle Albert: Remember, with great power comes--
Rick Riker: Great responsibility?
Uncle Albert: Well, I was gonna say bitches, but if you want to be a virgin for the rest of your life...

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Jill's Mother: [shouting from a window] You're a whore, just like your mother!
[Jill's mother goes back inside.]
Rick Riker: Who was that?
Jill Johnson: My mother.

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Uncle Albert: How can you say that? I've been like a father to you! I raised you, just like your father did! I believed in you, just like your father did! I slept with your mother, just like your father did!

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Lance Landers: [to Rick] Watch where you're going in slo-mo, dipshit.

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Rick Riker: Now I'm never gonna know the secret to becoming a superhero.
Mrs. Xavier: You wanna know the secret? Come close.
Rick Riker: [smacks Rick] Make a costume, shithead!

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[after Aunt Lucille farts through Rick and Jill's conversation, Hourglass breaks through the window]
Hourglass: Sorry to drop in uninvited.
Rick Riker: It's okay. We were hoping someone would open a window. It was getting stuffy in here.

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King of Sweden: Ladies and gentlemen, our first award is for the medical breakthrough of the year. For his company's pioneering work in the field of feminine hygiene, I award Lou Landers douche bag of the year.

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Dr. Stephen Hawking: If there is one lesson my life can teach, is it that the spirit is stronger than the body. The hero comes from within.
Dragonfly: Those are Celine Dion lyrics.

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Young Rick Riker: [Blaine laying on the ground before death] Dad!
Blaine Riker: Oh Rick, I'm dying..
Young Rick Riker: No..
Blaine Riker: Don't worry, my brother Albert will take you in. Rick, the money, it's all yours now. Sell all shares in a small company called Google, pfft, worthless. Invest heavily in Enron.

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Lou Landers: I've never been married.
Jill Johnson: [hold up fruitcake] Fruitcake?
Lou Landers: No. Just haven't met the right woman.

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Rick Riker: See, you're not even in my top five!

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Rick Riker: [opening the front door] Uncle Albert!
[turns and shoots a nail from a nail gun; Rick catches the nail]
Uncle Albert: [amazed] How did you do that?
Rick Riker: It's... easier than it looks.
Uncle Albert: [shoots Trey in the stomach] Nope. I don't think so.

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