Memorable quotes for
Corpse Bride (2005)

Victor Van Dort: Tomorrow, Victoria, we are to be...
[struggles to say "married"]
Victor Van Dort: Mmmm... mmmm... mmmm...
Victoria Everglot: [small giggle] ... married.

---

The Corpse Bride: Darling... where are you going?
Victor Van Dort: *Home*!

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Barkis Bittern: Can a heart still break after it's stopped beating?

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The Corpse Bride: Get out!
Barkis Bittern: Oh I'm leaving.
[evil laugh]
Barkis Bittern: [picking up the wine goblet] But first! A toast, to Emily. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride! Tell me my dear, can a heart still break once it's stopped beating? Hm?

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[Lord Barkis and Emily are shocked to see each other]
Barkis Bittern: It can't be. I left you.
The Corpse Bride: ...for dead.

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[Bonejangles creeps up behind Finnis; his eye falls into Finnis' bowl]
Finnis Everglot: There's an eye in me soup.

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Maudeline Everglot: What manner of impropriety is this? You shouldn't be *alone* together!

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The Corpse Bride: Isn't the view beautiful? It takes my breath away. Well, it would if I had any.

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Pastor Galswells: Miss Everglot, what are you doing here? You should be at home, prostrate with grief.

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The Corpse Bride: [about Victor's dead dog, Scraps] What a cutie.
Victor Van Dort: You should have seen him with fur.

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Elder Gutknecht: Why go up there when people are dying to get down here?

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Victoria Everglot: What if Victor and I don't like each other?
Maudeline Everglot: Hmpf! As if that has anything to do with marriage. Do you suppose your father and I "like" each other?
Victoria Everglot: Surely you must, a little.
Maudeline Everglot, Finnis Everglot: Of course not!

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Maggot: [singing] What does that wispy little brat have that you don't have double?
Black Widow Spider: [singing] She can't hold a candle to the beauty of your smile!
The Corpse Bride: How about a pulse?
Maggot: Overrated by a mile!
Maggot & Black Widow Spider: [singing] Overvalued! Overblown! If he only knew the you that we know!
Black Widow Spider: [singing] And that silly little creature isn't wearing his ring.
Maggot: [singing] And she doesn't play piano,
Maggot & Black Widow Spider: [singing] Or dance, or sing. No she doesn't compare!
The Corpse Bride: But she still breaths air...
Maggot & Black Widow Spider: Who cares?
Maggot: Unimportant!
Maggot & Black Widow Spider: [singing] Overrated! Overblown! If only he could see how special you can be; if he only knew the you that we know.
The Corpse Bride: [singing] If I touch a burning candle, I can feel no pain. If you cut me with a knife, it's still the same. And I know her heart is beating, and I know that I am dead; yet the pain here that I feel, try and tell me it's not real, and it seems that I still have a tear to shed.
Maggot: [singing] The sole redeeming feature of that little creature is that she's alive.
Black Widow Spider: Overrated!
Maggot: Overblown!
Black Widow Spider: [singing] Everybody knows that's just a temporary state, which is cured very quickly when we meet our fate.
Maggot: Who cares?
Black Widow Spider: Unimportant!
Maggot & Black Widow Spider: [singing] Overrated! Overblown! If only he could see how special you can be; if he only knew the you that we know.
The Corpse Bride: If I touch a burning candle, I can feel no pain. In the ice or in the sun, it's all the same. Yet I feel my heart is aching; thou it doesn't beat, it's breaking; and the pain here that I feel, try and tell me it's not real. I know that I am dead; yet it feels I still have some tears to shed.

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Finnis Everglot: Fetch me musket!

---

[Victor has snuck away from the Corpse Bride to find Victoria and listens to the arguing Everglots]
Finnis Everglot: If ever I see that Van Dort boy, I'll strangle him with my bare hands!
Maudeline Everglot: Your hands are too fat, and his neck is too thin. You'll have to use a rope.

---

Barkis Bittern: Would you care to repeat tonight's headline for us?
Town Crier: [shouting so loud that the teacups rattle] Hear ye, hear ye! Victor Van Dort seen this night on the bridge in the arms of a mystery woman! The dark-haired temptress and Master Van Dort slipped away into the night!
[lowers voice]
Town Crier: And now the weather. Scattered showers...
Barkis Bittern: Enough! That will be all.

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Emil: Lord and Lady Everglot, Mr. and Mrs. Van Dort.
William Van Dort: [to Maudeline] Ah... you must be Miss Victoria, I must say you don't look a day over 20.

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Black Widow Spider: Married, huh? I'm a widow.

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Victor Van Dort: I want some questions!
General Bonesapart: Answers... I think you mean answers.

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Skeleton boy: Sounds creepy!

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The Corpse Bride: [singing] If I touch a burning candle I can feel no pain/if you cut me with a knife it's still the same/and I know her heart is beating, I know that I am dead/yet the pain I feel, try and tell me it's not real/ for it seems I still have a tear to shed.

---

The Corpse Bride: [angrily, grabbing Victor] Hopscotch!

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The Corpse Bride: [about Victor] He's not my boyfriend, he's my husband.

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The Corpse Bride: [after chasing Victor through the forest] You may kiss the bride.

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Old Woman: [hitting skeleton with her walker] Bounder!
Alfred the Skeleton: Sweetie pie!
Old Woman: Cad!
[hits him again]
Alfred the Skeleton: Angel!
Old Woman: Degenerate!
Alfred the Skeleton: GERTRUDE!
Old Woman: [adjusts her glasses] Alfred? Oh! You've been dead 15 years!
Alfred the Skeleton: [grabs old woman] Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn!
[kisses her]

---

Old Woman: Alfred? Oh! You've been dead fifteen years!
Skeleton: Frankly, my dear...
[dips old woman]
Skeleton: I don't give a damn!

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Mayhew: [about Victoria's marriage to Lord Barkis] I guess they didn't want to waste the cake!

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Bonejangles: Hey! Give me a listen, you corpses of cheer/ Least those of you who still got an ear/ I'll tell you a story make a skeleton cry/ Of our own jubiliciously lovely corpse bride!
Bone Boys: Die, die, we all pass away/ But don't wear a frown 'cause it's really okay/ And you might try and hide/ And you might try and pray/ But we all end up the remains of the day/ Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah yeah yeah
Bonejangles: Well our girl was a beauty known for miles around/ When a mysterious stranger came into town/ He was plenty good lookin', but down on his cash/ And our poor little baby, she fell hard and fast/ When her daddy said no, she just couldn't cope/ So our lovers came up with a plan to elope
Bone Boys: Die, die, we all pass away/ But don't wear a frown 'cause it's really okay/ And you might try and hide/ And you might try and pray/ But we all end up the remains of the day/ Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah yeah yeah
[instrumental]
Bonejangles: So they conjured up a plan to meet late at night/ They told not a soul, kept the whole thing tight/ Now her mother's wedding dress fit like a glove/ You don't need much when you're really in love/ Except for a few things, or so I'm told/ Like the family jewls and a sachel of gold/ Then next to the grave yard by the old oak tree/ On a dark foggy night at a quarter to three/ She was ready to go, but where was he?
Short Dead Cook: And then?
Bonejangles: She waited.
Short Dead Cook, Mrs. Plum: And then?
Bonejangles: There in the shadows, was it her man?
Short Dead Cook, Mrs. Plum, Tall Dead Cook: And then?
Bonejangles: Her little heart beat so loud!
Short Dead Cook, Mrs. Plum, Tall Dead Cook, Paul The Head Waiter: And then?
Bonejangles: And then baby, everything went black/ Now when she opened her eyes she was dead as dust/ Her jewels were missin' and her heart was bust/ So she made a vow lyin' under that tree/ That she'd wait for her true love to come set her free/ Always waiting for someone to ask for her hand/ Then out of the blue comes this groovy young man/ Who vows forever to be by her side/ And that's the story of our own corpse bride!
Bonejangles, Bone Boys: Die, die we all pass away/ But don't wear a frown 'cause it's really okay/ And you might try and hide/ And you might try and pray/ But we all end up the remains of the day

---

Victor Van Dort: I've got a... dwarf, and I'm not afraid to use him!

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Victor Van Dort: [trying to practice his vows] With this hand, I will cup your...
[unconsciously holds hands before his chest in a suggestive manner, and is then horrified]
Victor Van Dort: Oh goodness, no!

---

Finnis Everglot: [as corpses run amuck] If my grandfather Everglot were to see this, he'd be rolling in his grave.
Grandfather Everglot: Finis.
[next to a portrait of himself in life]
Grandfather Everglot: Where do you keep the spirits?
[shakes wine glass]
Finnis Everglot, Maudeline: AAAAAAAHHHH!

---

Nell Van Dort: [singing] It's a beautiful day!
William Van Dort: [singing] It's a rather nice day.
Nell Van Dort: [singing] A day for a glorious wedding!
William Van Dort: A rehearsal, my dear, to be perfectly clear.
Nell Van Dort: A rehearsal for a glorious wedding!
William Van Dort: Assuming nothing happens that we don't really know.
Nell Van Dort: That nothing unexpected interferes with the show.
Nell Van Dort, William Van Dort: [singing] And that's why everything, every last little thing, every single tiny microscopic little thing must go...
Nell Van Dort: [singing] According to plan!
William Van Dort: Our son will be married!
Nell Van Dort: [singing] According to plan!
William Van Dort: And our family carried,
Nell Van Dort, William Van Dort: [singing] Elevated to the heights of society!
Nell Van Dort: To the costumed balls!
William Van Dort: In the hallowed halls!
Nell Van Dort: Rubbing elbows with the finest!
William Van Dort: And having crumpets with Her Highness!
Nell Van Dort, William Van Dort: [singing] We'll be there! We'll be seen! Having tea with the queen! We'll forget everything... that we've ever ever been!

---

Pastor Galswells: [holding the dead off] Begone, ye demons from Hell! Back to the void from whence you came!back... back... back You shall not enter here!
Skeleton: Keep it down, we're in a church!

---

General Bonesapart: This is going to be good.

---

Victor: [to the corpse of Scraps] Play dead... Oh, sorry.

---

Solemn Village Boy: [the little boy walks away from his frightened family and toward one of the skeletons] Grandpa?

---

Finnis Everglot: There's an eye in me soup.

---

Town Crier: In other news... *the dead walk the earth*!

---

Victor: With this candle... I will set your mother on fire.

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[the Corpse Bride recognizes Lord Barkis]
The Corpse Bride: You!
Barkis Bittern: Emily? But I left you.
The Corpse Bride: For dead!

---

Victor Van Dort: With this hand I will lift your sorrows. Your cup will never be empty, for I will be your wine. With this candle, I will light your way into darkness. With this ring, I ask you to be mine.

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The Corpse Bride: Maybe he does belong with her.
[sarcastic tone]
The Corpse Bride: Little Miss Living, with her rosy cheeks and beating heart.

---

[last lines]
Victor Van Dort: Wait. I made a promise.
The Corpse Bride: You kept your promise. You set me free. Now I can do the same for you.

---

The Corpse Bride: I was a bride. My dreams were taken from me. But now - now I've stolen them from someone else. I love you, Victor, but you are not mine.

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Maggot: Let me at him! Let me at him! Don't hold me back!
Elder Gutknecht: [holding crowd back] Wait! We must abide by their rules! We are amongst the living.
Maggot: [after Lord Barkis drinks potion] Not any more!
Elder Gutknecht: Yep. You're right. He's all yours.

---

Maggot: If I hadn't just been sitting in it, I would say that you'd lost your mind!

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Victor Van Dort: But I don't even know your name.
Maggot: [from inside the Corpse Bride's head] Well, that's a great way to start a marriage.
The Corpse Bride: [grasps head and hisses] Sshh! Shut up!
[smiles at Victor]
The Corpse Bride: It's Emily.

---

Mrs. Plum: New arrival!

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Black Widow Spider: [speaking to Emily regarding Victoria] Oh, those girls are ten a penny. You've got so much more. You've got - you've got - a wonderful personality!

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Elder Gutknecht: [officiating over the wedding ceremony of Victor and Emily] Dearly beloved... and departed...

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The Corpse Bride: ...I'm sure he's got a perfectly good reason... for taking so long...
Maggot: Oh, I'm sure he does. Why don't you go ask him?
The Corpse Bride: All right, I will!
Maggot: After all, he couldn't get far - with those cold feet...

---

Maudeline Everglot: [speaking] Marriage is a partnership, a little tit for tat; you'd think a lifetime watching us
[singing]
Maudeline Everglot: might have taught her that, might have taught her that.
Finnis Everglot: Everything must be perfect.
Maudeline Everglot: Everything must be perfect.
Maudeline Everglot, Finnis Everglot: Everything must be perfect, perfect!
Maudeline Everglot, Finnis Everglot, Nell Van Dort, William Van Dort: That's why everything/every last everything/ every single tiny microscopic little thing must go...
Maudeline Everglot, Finnis Everglot, Nell Van Dort, William Van Dort: According to plan!

---

Maudeline Everglot: [singing] It's a terrible day.
Finnis Everglot: Now, don't be that way.
Maudeline Everglot: It's a terrible day for a wedding.
Finnis Everglot: It's a sad, sad state of affairs we're in.
Maudeline Everglot: That has led to this ominous wedding.
Finnis Everglot: How could our family have come to this?
Maudeline Everglot, Finnis Everglot: To marry off our daughter to the nouveau riches?
Maudeline Everglot: They're so common.
Finnis Everglot: So coarse.
Maudeline Everglot: Oh it couldn't be worse!
Finnis Everglot: Couldn't be worse? I'm afraid I disagree. They could be land-rich bankrupt aristocracy without a penny to their name. Just like you and me.
Maudeline Everglot: [speaking] Oh dear!
Maudeline Everglot, Finnis Everglot: [singing] And that's why everything, every last little thing, every single tiny microscopic little thing must go...
Maudeline Everglot: According to plan!
Finnis Everglot: Our daughter will wed.
Maudeline Everglot: According to plan!
Finnis Everglot: And our family led...
Maudeline Everglot, Finnis Everglot: From the depths of deepest poverty...
Maudeline Everglot: To the noble realm...
Finnis Everglot: Of our ancestry.
Maudeline Everglot, Finnis Everglot: And who would've guessed in a million years, that our daughter with the face...
Finnis Everglot: Of an otter in disgrace...
Maudeline Everglot, Finnis Everglot: Would provide our tickets to our rightful place?

---

The Corpse Bride: [to Maggot] Go chew on someone else's ear a while.

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Finnis Everglot: [to Victor, who wants to put out the fire on Mrs. Everglot's dress] Out of the way, you ninny!

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Pastor Galswells: Dropping the ring!
Maudeline Everglot: Oh, no, he's dropped the ring!
Pastor Galswells: This boy doesn't *want* to get married!

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[first lines]
Town Crier: Hear ye, hear ye, 10 minutes to go till Van Dort's wedding rehearsal.

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Maggot: You don't know me, but I used to live in your dead mother.

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Maudeline Everglot: [to Victoria] Get those corsets laced properly! I can hear you speak without gasping.

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Nell Van Dort: [dreamily] I always knew I deserved better than a fish merchant's life.

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Barkis Bittern: [disrupting the wedding] Oh, how touching. I always cry at weddings. Finally, our two young lovers are together at last. Surely now they can live happily ever after? But you forget...
Barkis Bittern: [snatches Victoria] She's still my wife! And I'm not leaving here empty handed!

---

Barkis Bittern: [to the Everglotts and Van Dorts] Do call for me if you need my assistance...
Barkis Bittern: [glances at Victoria] in *any way*.

---

Barkis Bittern: [looking at a portrait of Victoria] Don't look at me that way my dear. You only have to suffer this union till death do us part. And that will come sooner than you think...

---

Bonejangles: I love a woman with meat on her bones!

---

Pastor Galswells: [holding a squirming Victoria] She is speaking in tongues, of unholy alliances! Her mind has come undone, I fear!

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The Corpse Bride: I've been in the darkness for so long, I've almost forgotten how beautiful the moonlight is.

---

The Corpse Bride: [after her hand escapes her arm and dances up Victor's arm] Pardon my enthusiasm.
Victor Van Dort: [snapping her hand into place] I like your enthusiasm.

---

Elder Gutknecht: Just remember, when you want to come back, say "Hopscotch."

---

Nell Van Dort: Blimey, it's my dress is caught.
Mayhew: Begging your pardon, ma'am.
William Van Dort: Come on, dear.
Nell Van Dort: It's not me. It's my dress that's caught. Where is Victor? We might be late.

---

William Van Dort: You've certainly hooked a winner this time, Victor.
Nell Van Dort: Now, all you have to do is reel her in.
Victor Van Dort: I'm already reeling, Mother. Shouldn't Victoria Everglot be marrying a Lord or something.
Nell Van Dort: Oh, nonsense. We're every bit of good as the Everglots. I always knew I deserved better than a fish merchants life.
Victor Van Dort: But I've never even spoken to her.
Nell Van Dort: Well, at least we have that in our favor.
[Mayhew coughs]
Nell Van Dort: Mayhew! Silence that blasted coughing!

---

Maudeline Everglot: Fish merchants!

---

Nell Van Dort: [to Victor] Look at the way your standing, You look like you've got rickets or something.

---

Maudeline Everglot: [to Finnis] Smile, darling, smile.
Finnis Everglot: Well, hello. What a pleasure. Welcome to our home.
Nell Van Dort: Oh, thank you.
Maudeline Everglot: We'll be taking tea in the West drawing room. Oh, do come this way. It's just through there.

---

Victor Van Dort: Do forgive me.
Victoria Everglot: You play beautifully.
Victor Van Dort: I-I-I do apologise Miss Everglot. How rude of me to... Well... Excuse me.
Victoria Everglot: Mother won't let me near the piano. Music is improper for a young lady. "Too passionate", she says.
Victor Van Dort: If I may ask, Miss Everglot... where is your chaperone?
Victoria Everglot: Perhaps, in... in view of the circumstances... you could call me Victoria.
Victor Van Dort: Yes, of course. Well... Victoria...
Victoria Everglot: Yes, Victor...

---

Victor Van Dort: Since I was a child, I've dreamt of my wedding day. I always hoped to find someone I was deeply in love with. Someone to spend the rest of my life with. Silly, isn't it?
Victoria Everglot: Yes, silly. No. No, not at all, no.
[knocks over a vase]
Victoria Everglot: Oh, oh, dear. I'm sorry.

---

Pastor Galswells: Master Van Dort, from the beginning. Again. "With this hand I will lift your sorrows. Your cup will never empty, for I will be your wine. With this candle, I will light your way in darkness. With this ring, I ask you to be mine". Let's try it again.
Victor Van Dort: Yes, yes, Sir.

---

Pastor Galswells: [to Victor] Pay attention! Have you even remembered to bring the ring?

---

Pastor Galswells: Enough! This wedding cannot take place until he is properly prepared! Young man, learn your vows!

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Nell Van Dort: Oh, I'm sure he'll be back shortly. He's terrified of the dark. In fact, when he was a boy, he used to wet his combinations, regularly, didn't he William?

---

Paul The Head Waiter: Coming through, coming through. My name is Paul, the head waiter. I will be creating your wedding feast.
Maggot: [popping out the Corpse Bride's eye] Wedding feast, I'm salivating.
The Corpse Bride: [pushing the maggot back into her eye] Maggots.
[laughs]

---

Victor Van Dort: What's going on here? Where am I? Who are you?
The Corpse Bride: Well, that's kind of a long story.
Bonejangles: What a story it is. A tragic tale of romance, passion and murder most foul.

---

Victor Van Dort: Ah, Mrs. Everglot. You look ravishing this evening. What's that, Mr. Everglot? Call you "dad"? If you insist, Sir.

---

Victor Van Dort: Please, there's been a mistake. I'm not dead.

---

Victor Van Dort: Mother never approved of Scraps jumping up like this. But then again, she never approved of anything.

---

The Corpse Bride: Scraps... Elder Gutknecht... Are you there? Hello? Is anyone home? Hello? There you are!
Elder Gutknecht: Oh, my dear. There you are.
The Corpse Bride: I've brought my husband, Victor.
Elder Gutknecht: What's that? Husband?
Victor Van Dort: Pleasure to meet you, Sir.

---

Elder Gutknecht: Where did I put that book? I left it here somewhere. There's the one. I have it. A Ukranian haunting spell. Just the thing for these quick trips.
The Corpse Bride: So glad you thought of this.
Victor Van Dort: Me too.
Elder Gutknecht: Now, then... Where were we?
The Corpse Bride: The Ukranian haunting spell
Elder Gutknecht: Ahh... Here we have it. Ready?

---

The Corpse Bride: [meeting Victoria] Darling, who's this?
Victoria Everglot: Who is she?
The Corpse Bride: I'm his wife.
Victoria Everglot: Victor?
Victor Van Dort: Victoria, wait. You don't understand. She's dead. Look!

---

The Corpse Bride: And I thought... I thought this was all going so well.

---

Maudeline Everglot: Finis, come to bed at once.

---

Victoria Everglot: Can the living marry the dead?
Pastor Galswells: What on Earth are you speaking about?
Victoria Everglot: Please, it's Victor. He's married to a corpse. He has a corpse bride. There must be some way to undo what's been done.
Pastor Galswells: I believe I know the thing to do. Come with me.

---

Maudeline Everglot: Take her to her room!
Victoria Everglot: No, I'm telling the truth. Victor needs my help.

---

Nell Van Dort: Oh, it's almost dawn! Where could he be?
Town Crier: Victor Van Dort elopes with corpse! Heartbroken bride to wed wealthy newcomer!
Nell Van Dort: Wealthy newcomer? It cannot be.
William Van Dort: Did he say corpse?
Nell Van Dort: Oh, don't be ridiculous. What corpse would marry our Victor?
[Mayhew coughs]
Nell Van Dort: Oh, Mayhew! Silence that blasted coughing! Mayhew, are you trying to kill us? I think he's trying to kill us!

---

Maudeline Everglot: Oh, Finis. Who invited these people? They must be from your side of the family.

---

Victoria Everglot: Did things not go according to your plan, Lord Barkis? Well, perhaps in disappointment, we are perfectly matched.

---

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