Quotes for
Dr. Temperance "Bones" Brennan (Character)
from "Bones" (2005)

"Bones: The Man in the SUV (#1.2)" (2005)

Dr. Temperance Brennan: We'll find out who killed him, Booth. We've got Hamid's body. You can always count on the dead.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: We're dealing with someone here who devalues an entire culture; terrorizing people by using God to justify mass murder.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: You're making it personal. That doesn't help.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It is personal, Bones. All of us die a little bit on one like this.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Trying to track down the doctor?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Don't need him. It's definitely a toxin, but we can't determine what kind.
Zack Addy: Too bad the liver is cooked. That could tell us everything.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know, I need subtitles walking in here.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: [discussing a corpse that was blown up in an SUV] I need surgical gloves and masks for the retrieval team, sterile medical bags and vegetable oil.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Vegetable oil?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: The oil will loosen the seared body parts stuck to the metal. It's no different than steak on a grill that sticks.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: I was just studying a cranial fissure on a corporate attorney last week. Of course, he was dead.

Zack Addy: [of the beetles] You can't kill them. They have names.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: We have to, Zack.
[grabs a handful and puts them in another jar]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Some.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: In Thailand, they sautee them in peanut oil.

Angela Montenegro: Look I... I know you needed help out there... at the crime scene. And I wanted to... but...
Dr. Temperance Brennan: It's okay. You see it. I don't any more. I don't know what's worse.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Why aren't we talking about you and your boyfriend?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I don't have a boyfriend.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You just said that as though it's a good thing. And you know what? It's a very, *very* sad comment on your personal life.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Look, you're angry again.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: [as they're approaching Ladjavardi] I thought you were told to stay away from him?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, and as an FBI agent, I cannot disobey my superior. But you're *not* an FBI agent.

Ali Ladjavardi: I'm calling Santana.
[turns around and walks away]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Yeah, I don't -
[get in front of Ladjavardi]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I don't think so.
Ali Ladjavardi: I'm warning you.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I wouldn't threaten her if I were you.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Look I just want to know where you were in June to see if you poisoned Hamid, and Farid.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Subtle.
Ali Ladjavardi: I'm leaving now!
[tries to push pass Bones. She grabs his arm and flips him. Bones puts her foot on his throat]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Told you. She doesn't like to be touched.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [after ranting about the FBI] Someone here's really defensive about the FBI lately. You realize Booth is just another government stooge.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: This has nothing to do with Booth.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Booth arrives and clears his throat] I don't enjoy having squints on my team any more than you like me on yours. But you know, we're *supposed* to be working together, okay?

Dr. Temperance Brennan: I'd like to get this data to Booth as soon as I can.
DHS Agent Bennett Gibson: [blocks her path and tries to reach for her notes] I'll take it.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: No. I don't think so. I work with *Booth*. That's my deal.
DHS Agent Bennett Gibson: Dr. Brennan, I have jurisdiction.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Then why don't I destroy my notes, and let you guarantee the identity of the remains?
[walks past Gibson. Angela walks up to Gibson]
Angela Montenegro: It's best to just ride it out. Like an earthquake.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: She dyed her hair. She lost weight. You know? She shove a little Botox in the forehead. She's still feeling guilty over the last fight she had with her husband!
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Oh, you are an insufferable arrogant... MAN!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, so only a woman could know a woman? I thought women wanted us to understand them.
Angela Montenegro: [moving closer to them] Not really a magician never *wants* to reveal her tricks.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [turns to Angela] We're having a *private* conversation.
Angela Montenegro: I'm not here.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Angela tells them she talked to Booth's girlfriend] She's *spying* for you?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: No. No!
Zack Addy: If you have nothing in common, it's difficult to sublimate intense sexual attraction.
[Bones glares at Zack]
Zack Addy: And we hear it's been a while.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Okay, stop.
Angela Montenegro: He is *there* for the taking, honey.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Booth arrives] Okay I couldn't get his medical records.
[everyone stops and looks at Booth]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Nothing.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: We're going to have to run a simulation. I need you to input the skull and give me a face.
Angela Montenegro: You got it.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [quietly] And no more talk about Booth. You shouldn't have gotten involved.
Angela Montenegro: That's what friends are for.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Please, Angela.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know, I told them to tell the Press it was an undercover operation.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: But it would be a Rose Garden Ceremony.... That's an honor, right?... I thought you FBI guys liked your medals.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No pleasure in taking someone's life.
[finishes his drink]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Nothing to celebrate.

---

"Bones: The Critic in the Cabernet (#4.24)" (2009)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Happy.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Sperm.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [to Sweets] Sperm? Isn't this getting a little weird?
Dr. Lance Sweets: No. Keep going.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Okay. Egg.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I want a baby.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Whoa!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Horse.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Wait. Whoa. Whoa. Wait a minute.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Yeah. We can stop here.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well I'm not asking for you to be involved. All I want is your sperm.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Booth realizes the Tech has heard Bones and starts to laugh] That's a good one. "All I want is your sperm." Never heard that joke before.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I don't understand.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [to the Tech] Yeah. Okay. All right. Just close your mouth and point us to the body, okay?

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Tibia. I've decided to have a baby.
[Everyone stares at her. Bones continues working]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Pichulum.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Wait. Baby like a small human?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes. I know I've had no interest in the past. Bu neither did you and you seem to find parenthood very fulfilling.

Angela Montenegro: You do know how this is supposed to work, right?... You get naked together, and you devour each other in a passionate frenzy.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth would think that would create an emotional bond between us.
Angela Montenegro: ...Of course that's ridiculous.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I knew you would understand.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I thought these sessions were meant for you to see how we interact as partners. How does this relate?
Dr. Lance Sweets: You're using Agent Booth to have a child. You don't see how that might relate to your partnership?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It has nothing to do with our work.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Wow. Okay. Um. Let me just... organize my thoughts.

Angela Montenegro: Listen, you said you wanted to do this alone because feelings are ephermeral. So is life, Brennan. We're here one minute and then we're gone the next. You should know that better than anybody! If you keep living trying to protect yourself, nothing is ever going to touch you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Sweets said that it's not his job to tell somebody what they're feeling or how they should live their life.
Angela Montenegro: Lucky, I'm not a shrink.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Hey, what's going on?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I can't do it. Listen I have to be involved. If I'm the father then... I have to be a father.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'm not a neurologist, Booth, or a surgeon.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: But you're a genius. That's good enough for me... Plus you'll know if they're screwing up.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'll ask.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Listen Bones, if I don't make it...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth, you're going to be fine.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: But if I'm not, I want you to have my stuff. You know, for a kid.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I want you to... You're going to be a really good mom.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You're going to be fine, Booth. I'll be right here.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You really liked holding that kid didn't you?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yeah. I've been thinking about how exciting it would be to expose my own child to early pattern recognition.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know they like singing and uh, when you make funny faces at 'em too.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yeah of course. I-I will make a diverse schedule.

Angela Montenegro: Then why use Booth at all? Why don't you use Fisher... and his discount sperm?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No, Booth has a bigger mandible and a more prominent zygomatic than Fisher, as well as a more pronounced ratio between the width of his clavicles and his ilia.
Angela Montenegro: So, it's because Booth is hot?

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [after Brennan says she wants a baby] Is there a father?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, I'd like to use Booth's sperm.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Booth. What do you know?

Dr. Lance Sweets: The point of the exercise is not to explain, but to respond. Okay? Children can do this.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Because it's childish.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Can we just try it, please?

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [referring to the body] Looks like a purple Smurf.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Pelvic bone indicates a male.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Like a rubber, purple, Smurf.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth, what is going on?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I can't do it. Listen, I have to be involved. If I'm the father then... I have to *be* a father.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You were seeing something in there, what were you seeing?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Stewie. The baby from The Family Guy.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You saw Stewie in there, in the interrogation room?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What do you say, about the kid?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Fine, I won't have a baby.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: "Fine." That's it?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It doesn't matter now, we're going to the hospital.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It's no big deal, okay.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No, it is. Booth, you thought you saw Luc Robitaille and then the ghost of a dead friend and now a cartoon baby. Trust me, something is wrong. Trust me.

---

"Bones: The Man in the Morgue (#1.19)" (2006)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Voodoo! Who's gonna believe that stuff?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: It's a religion, no crazier than... well, what are you?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Catholic.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: They believe in the same saints you do... in prayer... what they call spells, you call miracles... they have priests...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: We don't make zombies.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Jesus rose from the dead in three days...
[Booth looks at her in shock. Brennan picks up her phone]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Brennan...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Jesus is not a zombie!

Angela Montenegro: Or better still, you could forget the whole thing and come home.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [over the phone] Don't worry. I made bail.
Zack Addy: Bail?
Angela Montenegro: Bail? For what?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I told you, don't worry. The murder charge won't stick.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Murder charge?
Angela Montenegro: Brennan? The next plane. The next plane, okay? Or I'm coming down there to get you myself.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Everything's fine. I'm healing up satisfactorily. Bye for now.
[hangs up]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Healing up?

Dr. Temperance Brennan: [to murderer who is trying to put a voodoo curse on her, so she pokes him in the eye to shut him up] I've noticed that very few people are scary once they've been poked in the eye.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: How did I get away? Graham got killed, I got away. How did I do that?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know, Bones, all those things that Caroline mentioned - the martial arts, the shooting, the assaults - you're just the type of woman that fights. You know? Maybe they didn't expect it, maybe they thought some kind of magic could hold you.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I don't believe in magic.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Exactly. You're a surprising woman, and that's sometimes enough to get away.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [smiling at Booth] Why are you nice to me?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Because. Because they think they get away with it.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: What?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: They burn their victim. They blow him up. They toss him in the ocean. They bury them in the desert. They throw 'em into wood chippers. Sometimes, you know, years go by. They relax. Then they start living their lives like they didn't do anything wrong. Like they didn't spend somebody else's life in order to get what they got. They think they're safe from retribution. You make those bastards unsafe. That's why I'm nice to you.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I couldn't do that without you, Booth.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah. So, um, you should be a little nicer to me, huh?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I really should.

[Booth and Brennan are looking for Dr. Legier at his house]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Graham! Graham?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [under his breath] Cracker!
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Yeah, that's not funny.

[Brennan is on the phone with the squints in D.C. and Angela overhears Booth]
Angela Montenegro: Is that Booth?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Yes.
Angela Montenegro: You're hopping the streetcar named Desire with Booth?
[looks at Zack]
Angela Montenegro: Oh, I love this.

[Booth storms into the room where Brennan is being questioned without knocking]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, you okay?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Booth, I told you not to come.
Detective Rose Harding: Who's this?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: It's... he's FBI. We're sort of partners.
Detective Rose Harding: A guy flies down from D.C., you're more than *sort of.*

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Can I make a lifestyle suggestion?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Go ahead.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know, vacation - it's from the Latin 'vacatio' and means, you know, freedom and release - you might want to consider that next time
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Learning Latin?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: is the opposite of vacation. I mean, no wonder you snapped, went insane and totally lost your mind.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Oh, thanks for your understanding.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Booth, objects have no intrinsic power. A person's future does not depend on some thing. Things are just things. They do not have magical meaning or powers.
[Booth reveals the missing earring]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Where'd you get that?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What does it matter? It's just a thing. Right?
[Booth hands her the earring]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: My mother's earring.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No, uh... magical power over your future.
[Booth gets up and leaves]
Angela Montenegro: Does that prove something?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [looking at Earring] Yeah.
[looking after Booth]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: It proves something.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: God, I'm hungry.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, when was the last time you ate?
[Brennan rolls her eyes]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, my bad. You have amnesia.

Caroline Julian: I am doing you a favor taking this case, Booth. But as the lady cop says, I'm a prosecutor. And as it stands now, I could try this case in my PJs and still get a conviction.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Well, shouldn't you get to know your clients before you make snap judgments?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [warningly] Bones...
Caroline Julian: Fine. Stop me when I get something wrong. Trained in three types of martial arts, two assault charges, registered marksman with the NRA, hunting licenses in four states...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You hunt?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Only for food.
Caroline Julian: Shot an unarmed man.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: He was trying to set me on fire.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: All right, just... just arrange bail for us, Caroline, so we can get out of here.
Caroline Julian: Sure, sure. Don't want to get this one mad at me.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [whispers] You couldn't keep your mouth shut, could you?

Dr. Temperance Brennan: I've noticed that very few people are scary once they've been poked in the eye.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: That's because you've been inculcated by the mainstream culture's prevailing judeo-christian tradition into instinctive skepticism of alternative mores.

---

"Bones: The Wannabe in the Weeds (#3.14)" (2008)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: How does a former sniper have a grass allergy? I mean wouldn't a sneeze give away your position?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, okay. I worked in the *desert*. Sand. No grass.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [after Booth knocks on a door] Hey, break down the door.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It hurts my shoulder when I break down the door.

Adam Matthews: Then about a month ago, she showed up in the middle of the night, and started banging on the door.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, was she angry?
Adam Matthews: She was wearing a teddy, and high heels. So I'm thinking angry *wasn't* her emotion.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You're implying she was sexually stimulated.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: So were they um -?
[claps his hands]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know. Did they -?
[claps his hands]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Did they have sexual intercourse?
Adam Matthews: If they did it was through a locked door.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: So... no?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [clapping] Very good, Bones. Okay, let's go.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well this obsession with physical perfection clouds a society's vision. You are oogling that woman!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What? No! I'm not.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes, you are!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'm just, um, admiring her routine.

Dr. Lance Sweets: You have an irrational prejudice against psychology. Probably because of some emotions so complicated for you to deal with.
[starts playfully poking Bones]
Dr. Lance Sweets: And I poked and prodded them which makes them real and painful.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: And yet I feel no pain. Just a sort of disinterest. So why don't you take your powers of observation and focus them on her?

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: So do you think she killed him?
Dr. Lance Sweets: Well
[exhales]
Dr. Lance Sweets: there's no question she's deluded. She truly *believes* he was going to marry her. And she was setting herself up for a tragic ending.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Tragic?
Dr. Lance Sweets: Well one way to ensure he didn't leave her...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Would be to kill him.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Who's Kelly Clarkson?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: American Idol. "Because of You."
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Because of *me*?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Never mind. Okay, just stay here. Not up there.
[points to the stage]

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You enjoy it because you're a superb agent.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You think?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Of course, since I'm the best in my field. It would be self-destructive for me to work with some who was beneath me.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Okay, that's good, because I have to be honest, here. Sometimes I think you feel you're better than me.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well objectively, I'm more intelligent-.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: See? There you go!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: In certain areas. And in others, I understand my limitations, and I admire your expertise.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Until I was 13, I wanted to be the next Cyndi Lauper.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'd say you were kidding. But I don't think you know how to kid.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: The guitar string could definitely be the murder weapon.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Because it cut the cheese?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Because the exemplar wound approximates the tool marks on the victim's C5.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Yeah, he knew. He just wanted to say "cut the cheese."

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Hodgins. You are the guitar player. Zack, you are Tommy.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Re-enactment. Facinating.
Dr. Zack Addy: Not for me. I'm always the one that gets killed.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Dude, you're the singer. Singer was the vic.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I can't just bust into song. I have to have music. And an appropriate atmosphere of frivolity.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Diva! Forensic genius. Best selling author. Better that Cyndi Lauper?

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Sweets is trying to convince Bones to get up and sing] Really? What about you?
Dr. Lance Sweets: Hey, I will be singing "Lime in the Coconut" after you, and you will be extremely impressed... as was my abnormal psychology class in college. This opportunity is a gift from.... Agent Booth. Trust yourself, trust your friends, and let 'er rip!

---

"Bones: The Baby in the Bough (#3.12)" (2008)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Tax shelter? Exactly how loaded are you?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well *that* is an offensive way to phrase the question, but... quite loaded. I'm betting a seven figure advance for my next book.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Seven figures? Wow! Without the decimal point?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: The publisher makes considerably more.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What's the first of those seven figures?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: A prime number. What do you do with your money?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Use it for food, rent.

Sheriff Delpy: Barely a scratch on the boy. It's a miracle.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Hardly, Car seats are specifically emgineered to protect the child.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: From what? Flying out of the back of the car and landing in a tree?

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh look at him, Bones. He looks a little fussy there. Why don't you pick him up and give him a cuddle.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Just because I have breasts doesn't mean I have magical powers over infants. You're the one with a son.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: All right. Fine. I'll take him. Here you go.
[hands the diaper bag to Bones]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You have fun with the diaper bag. You look good.
[picking up the baby]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Come here little man.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Oh no. He must've…
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan, Special Agent Seeley Booth: …swallowed it.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [handing the baby to Bones] Okay here you go. Get used to him.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What do you mean?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That key was evidence. You know how chain of custody works. The kid stays with us until we get the key back.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I don't understand. He's been fed, he's changed. I patted him. And now he's just complaining.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: He's acting like a real kid.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No one filled a report, Booth. No one's worried about him.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, well you are.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [pulling up to the victim's home] Front door is open, you stay here.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: But...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, there's a *baby* involved. You hear gunfire, anything like that, drive away!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'm not leaving you!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yes you will! Because this is about the *baby*, *not* me. Promise me!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [pause; Bones looks at the baby then at Booth] I promise.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: First the key, now jewelry! What's next? You gonna let him play with a bowling ball?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'm *watching* him!

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You have no idea what that place is like, Booth. Med students, under funded, under staffed.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: His mother is dead. His father is a felon. I've been in his situation, Booth. I'm *not* turning him over until I'm satisfied he is somewhere safe, where he'll get the care he deserves!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Fine. He can stay with us... for now.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Thank you.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I think he's making the face again.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [as he's changing the diaper] I'm serious, Bone. *Next* time, *you're* changing the diaper!

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Well, I sent an intern who apparently loves bears, which, in reality, would devour a small child.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: [to Andy] No, elephants are not purple. This is wrong.
[she goes through the diaper bag; as Booth returns, she turns back to Andy]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Hey, look at that, he flipped over!

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Phalanges! Phalanges! Dancing Phalanges!

---

"Bones: Pilot (#1.1)" (2005)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: When the FBI gets stuck, we call in the squints.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Squints?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know, you squint at things.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Oh, you mean people with high IQ's and basic reasoning skill?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones identifies bodies for us.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Don't call me Bones, and I do more than identify.

Dr. Daniel Goodman: Dr. Brennan, are you playing me?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: You know I'm no good at that.
Dr. Daniel Goodman: Hmmm. Thus far. But you have a disturbingly steep learning curve.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: What are you trying to do?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Blackmail you.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Blackmail a federal agent.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Yes.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I don't like it.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I'm fairly certain you're not supposed to.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Fine. You're in.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: What's it going to take?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Full participation in the case.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Fine.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Not just lab work. Everything.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What? You want me to spit in my hand? We're Scully and Mulder.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I don't know what that means.

Bennett Gibson: Most people in this situation, what they do is, they sweat it.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Guatemala. Genocide. How are you scary after that?

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You expect me, a federal agent, to declare war on a United States senator based on your little holographic crystal ball?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: It's not magic. It's a logical recreation of events based on evidence.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: A decomposed corpse was found this morning at Arlington National Cemetery...
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Arlington National Cemetery is full of decomposed corpses. It's... a cemetery.

[Booth and Bones are looking in a lake for a body]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: What, exactly, am I supposed to be *squinting* at?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It's like pornography - you'll know when you see it.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: FISH!

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Don't call me Bones.

Angela Montenegro: [to the airport worker behind counter] Excuse me. Uh, you have a computer glitch at the arrivals board.
[man ignores Angela]
Angela Montenegro: Hello. Sir, excuse me. Yoo-hoo.
[man gestures for Angela to wait and continues to type]
Angela Montenegro: Great.
[Angela flashes him; he stops working]
Angela Montenegro: Yeah. Hi. The flight from Guatemala.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [from behind] Tell me you tried "excuse me" first.

---

"Bones: The Blonde in the Game (#2.4)" (2006)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Run her through the database, get an ID.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Why don't you just ask him?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well because the last time Bones saw Epps, it got violent.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: You'll be there to protect her.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: She's not the one who needs protecting. Bones broke his wrist
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [flashback to when Bones broke Epps's wrist] He touched me with his creepy serial killer hands.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Better not take Dr. Brennan.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: I got something for you.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: A bottle of hard liquor?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Next best thing.
[Booth takes a small pig figurine out of his pocket, puts it in the palm of his hand, and moves very close to Brennan]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Meet Jasper.
[Both smiling, Brennan takes Jasper from Booth's hand and looks at it]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You're gonna be okay.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [looks at Booth, with tears in her eyes] Yeah?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Definitely.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: You said you've dealt with manipulative men before.
Angela Montenegro: Sweetie, this is a psycho killer, not some loser who wants you to co-sign a loan for his jet-ski.

Howard Epps: Caroline's the best I could do in here.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, not your usual type, Howie. I mean, not young, not blonde.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Not dead.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, could you please shut up?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [getting offended] Excuse me?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [to Epps] Is this why you duct-tape their mouths? Because *that* I understand.
Howard Epps: [leans forward slight pause] That's the lamest attempt at bonding I've ever seen.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: For all your faults, Mr. Epps, you were never interested in letting your victims suffer. You didn't torture them. You're not that kind of man. She's an innocent child.
Howard Epps: She's a young woman. And there's no such thing as an innocent woman. Look within yourself, you know I'm right.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: [Entering the suspect's house and finding a dog they encountered earlier] Oh great! Him again. I'll need a pinecone.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [advancing on the dog] Listen dog, I will shoot you in the head if you don't cut it out right now!
[dog stops barking]

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know you're afraid that Epps turn you into him- into a killer. You have to come to grips the fact that you killed another human being. Because when you kill someone, you know, there's a cost. It's a steep cost. I know I've done it.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I did the right thing.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I know I was there.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Are you on some kind of medication?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones.
Caroline Epps: Dr. Brennan, I'm not one of those crazy women who falls in love with death row killers.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Obviously, that's exactly what you are.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You ever have a dog, Bones?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I always wanted a pig.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: A pig?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Very smart. And despite the popular misconception, very clean.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I prefer my pig with a little mint, a little honey glaze...
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Not funny.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know, if you had a pet pig, what would you name him?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Jasper.

---

"Bones: Harbingers in a Fountain (#5.1)" (2009)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [to Avalon Harmonia] Well, they gave me medication. So I feel how I imagine people of average intelligence feel, all the time.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What did you want to tell me?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That I love you... In a professional, 'atta girl' kind of way.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: 'Atta girl' kind of way? Right back at'cha Booth. I love you too. 'Atta Boy.'

Avalon Harmonia: The riddle you can't solve is how... somebody could love you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well I'm, beautiful and very intelligent.
Avalon Harmonia: The answer to the question that you're afraid to say out loud is... yes. He knows the truth of you, and he is dazzled by that truth.

Avalon Harmonia: The man whose life you saved is really excited to see you again.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No, I don't save lives. People are already dead when I get to them.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: OH, I'm happy personally and professionally. You know unsolved murders have gone up a thousand percent since you left.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I find that hard to believe.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Rough estimate. Welcome back!

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yes! We're back.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You're the one who told me never to look happy at a crime scene.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Right. We'll look happy after we find out who did this horrible crime and get them behind bars.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Right.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'm sorry, Ang. You know it's... my first case back. You know it's been a long day. Maybe I got something to prove. Sorry, you look - you look beautiful.
[Angela chuckles and kisses him on the forehead]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Oh. Woul dyou like *me* to kiss you on the forehead too?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Sure.
[Bones chuckles and walks away]

Avalon Harmonia: The world scares you. So you wrap it up neatly in bonds of reason, education and proof. All riddles are solvable to you, except for one.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes. The riddle of how you knew where your sister was buried.
Avalon Harmonia: No, the riddle you can't solve is how somebody can love you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Chuckles] Well I'm beautiful and very intelligent.
Avalon Harmonia: The answer to the question that you're afraid to say out loud is: yes. He knows the truth about you. And he is dazzled by that truth.

Caroline Julian: That was sneaky.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Is sneaky good or bad?
Caroline Julian: Good. If it holds up in the court.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Next time, make it look like you're taking advantage of the situation, not scripting it.

Avalon Harmonia: The card say only your top layer is rational Underneath, you're as *crazy* as I am.
[Avalon laughs]
Avalon Harmonia: And that's a compliment.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Doesn't sound like one.

---

"Bones: The Verdict in the Story (#3.13)" (2008)

Dr. Lance Sweets: Dr. Brennan everyone you work with, including your therapist...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: *Former* therapist.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Is endevoring to imprison your father. That's wicked stressful.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth is right. It doesn't bother me.
Dr. Lance Sweets: No, Booth is wrong. *Yes*, it does.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'm fine.
Dr. Lance Sweets: If you were fine, you'd be balled up in a corner, weeping or semi-catatonic.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [turning to Booth] Does that sound fine to you?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'm sorry, Bones, but I'm going to have to agree with Sweets on this one.
Dr. Lance Sweets: I think it's important for you to know that *we* know that the colder more objective you appear on the outside, the more pain you feel on the inside.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'm fine!
Dr. Lance Sweets: No, you're not!

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I didn't see Angela today.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Angela refuses to testify.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Probably because she's your best friend.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, you're my friend. And you don't mind.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I mind! We *all* mind. Except for Zack.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, in that case, Zack is the only one thinking clearly. I had to give Hodgins permission. I don't know what's wrong with everyone.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It's not what's wrong, Bones. It's what's *right*!

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [rising up] Oh and remember. I'm the one... who gave you this
[pouring out his coffee]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: delicious coffee.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Why? Because I'm the first prosecution witness against your father.
[enters the court room]

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [as Angela's being escorted to prison for refusing to testify. Bones rises up] Angela please!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Sit down!
Angela Montenegro: [Angela stops] Sweetie, this is one of those times when I know *I'm* right, and everyone else is *confused*!

Angela Montenegro: Friends don't send friends’ fathers to the electric chair.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Maryland uses lethal injection.
Angela Montenegro: Well the principle still holds.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: I just think he doesn't want to admit that he likes us.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Do you like us?
Dr. Lance Sweets: What?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: And he wants to spend time with us.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Is that true, Sweets? You like us?
Special Agent Seeley Booth, Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [singing] He really likes us.
Dr. Lance Sweets: All right, you know what? I'm sorry I made the offer. I take it back. Forget it!

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Okay, you're not Dr. Brennan today. You're Temperance.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I don't know what that means.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: The scientist part of you got sidelined, temporarily.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [scoffs] I still don't know what that means.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, just take the brain. Okay? And put it in neutral. Take the heart, and put it in overdrive.
[makes motor sounds]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Sometimes I think you're from another planet.
[smiles]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Sometimes I think you're nice

Russ Brennan: You should have... you know, you should have run, Dad! You should have taken off!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Dad stayed for me. He knew that if he ran, we'd never see each other again.
[turning to Max]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You stayed for me.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [examining a skeleton that is curled in a circular shape] How could this happen?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Umm, maybe he was rolled up in a carpet?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Where's the carpet?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, it rotted away. You know, with the... meaty parts.
[Bones starts laughing]
AUSA Caroline Julian: [entering] Excuse me? What is so funny?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [forcing back her laughter] Nothing.
AUSA Caroline Julian: I should hope not, because there's a dead body deserving our respect right in front of you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Brennan can't contain herself any longer and bursts out laughing]
AUSA Caroline Julian: I did not know she could laugh.

---

"Bones: The Hero in the Hold (#4.13)" (2009)

Dr. Camille Saroyan: [after Bones gets phone call] What's going on?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: ...Gravedigger has Booth.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Sweets, you - you shouldn't be here. The Gravedigger said no FBI involvement.
Dr. Lance Sweets: I'm a psychologist, not an agent.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: An FBI psychologist, Dr. Sweets. Get gone, now.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Brennan, I'm telling you, the answer is there... Ten hours.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Long pause] Eight. And Dr. Hodgins is never left alone!
Angela Montenegro: You don't trust him?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No, I don't.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [finding Vega's body] We should take his body back to the lab. Obviously, the Gravedigger killed him. There's gotta be some evidence that we can use.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Remove the body from a crime scene?
Special Agent Payton Perotta: [a car pulls up. Perotta comes out] That would be a very bad idea! Step away from the car please.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Let's be clear here. What we intend to do next constitutes felony conspiriacy.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Not you! ME! I can do this alone!
Dr. Jack Hodgins: No. NO! Nobody does anything alone. Vega was alone.

Angela Montenegro: Listen to me Brennan. Somebody you love is buried alive! You're allowed to save them no matter how irrational.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I don't love Booth.
Angela Montenegro: Yes you do. So do I. So do all of us. Just take my advice and hand over the evidence and get Booth.

Jared Booth: I can make a few calls.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: NO! This is not a situation where you make a few phone calls!
Jared Booth: That's who I am, Tempe! I'm the guy who makes a few calls!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth has NEVER turned his back on you! You are a selfish coward! And you never deserved him!

Jared Booth: She's the Gravedigger?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It's her.
Jared Booth: Can you prove it?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No. We can't. Is that problem?
Jared Booth: Not for me!

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [looking at the Gravedigger] I'd like to kill you!
[to Bones]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I hate her! I think I can murder her.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: If any kind of people could murder someone, and get away with it, it would be us.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [to Sweets] Would you rather torture her?
Jared Booth: I know a little bit about that.
Dr. Lance Sweets: No. What? We don't do that.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth will die!
Dr. Lance Sweets: Character's who you are under pressure. Not who you are when everything's fine. We're the good guys. We don't - we don't torture people.

---

"Bones: The Doctor in the Den (#4.17)" (2009)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth, we're here to recover a set of remains.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Come on, Bones. You gotta take time to smell the primates.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why? They're malodorous and they throw their excrement.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Did you know that giraffes can weigh up to two tons?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes. Everyone knows that.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: And they sleep less than two hours a night.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That I did not know.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yes! Pinky stumps the Brain.

Angela Montenegro: [Identifying the victim] Sad huh? He's handsome. He's hot really.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: All right, that's enough Angela.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [pause everyone looks strangely at Cam] Are you all right Dr. Saroyan?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: ...No. I knew Dr. Weston. We lived together for two years.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: It's best that you... stay in the lab a little bit more, just this one time.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Because that's where I'm more useful. I understand. No, you and Cam can rely on your inaccurate guts to solve this case.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: She needs this. Just trust me on this, Bones.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: We know people through our feelings, Dr. Breenan. You trust Booth because of what you feel.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No. I trust Booth because of past actions.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: And faith in the future. I'm sorry but feelings are important, even to you.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I thought you would be with Booth.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Questioning people really isn't my thing. Most of the time I just wanna beat them until they tell me what I want to hear.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I know it gets frustrating. And hitting can often be quite effective.
Dr. Clark Edison: And you both work for the Justice Department?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes.
Dr. Clark Edison: Ironic.

Angela Montenegro: Well there you go. He was playing the field and someone probably nicked him for it.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: How do you know?
Angela Montenegro: Because despite the fact that I would love to have my legs wrapped around one right now, men are awful.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Hodgins enters] Hey.
[the women glare at him]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Whoa. What'd I do?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: You're a man.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Are you aware that lionesses do all the hunting?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes, and the males simply populate and eat what the females catch.
Angela Montenegro: And when they get cranky, they eat the cubs... Men.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Wow. Before I flee for my life, the particles I found in the wounds around the femeral artery, ones I thought were mica, are scales.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Fish?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: No, snake. Can maybe have a species by tomorrow.
Angela Montenegro: Hey wanna stay and have a drink?
[Cam snaps her fingers]
Angela Montenegro: Oh yeah. We hate men.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I'm gonna go now.

Angela Montenegro: [Speaking of Hodgins] He does have a terrific ass.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Perhaps that's why you're always making him leave.

---

"Bones: The Man in the Bear (#1.4)" (2005)

Dr. Temperance Brennan: What if I have to shoot? What part of his body should I hit?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: The part that isn't me.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You're a smart-ass, you know that?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Objectively, I'd say I'm very smart. Although it has nothing to do with my ass.

Sheriff Chris Scutter: We see this kind of thing all the time - kids come up here, get baked, do their own version of the Blair Witch Project.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I don't know what that means.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Horror movie, Bones... didn't make any sense.
Sheriff Chris Scutter: Scary, though, with the bloody handprints.

Sheriff Chris Scutter: Can I help you?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Yeah, thanks. I'm with him.
Sheriff Chris Scutter: Suddenly, I wish I was FBI.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Do you realize when we go to trial he could use the insanity defense.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: The guy *is* nuts.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Yes, but is he nuts because he got a brain disease from eating human flesh, *or* was he already nuts the first time he ate flesh, *or* did he just lick his fingers after surgery?

Special Agent Seeley Booth: I should just become a vegetarian.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Or, as an alternative, just don't eat people.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know, you're a smart ass, you know that?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Objectively I'd say I'm very smart, although it has nothing to do with my ass.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [gives Temperance a gun] This is only for self-defence
Dr. Temperance Brennan: What part do I aim for?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Any part that isn't me.

Dr. Daniel Goodman: You should get out in the world more often.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: So your're saying is that I should have sex with Booth?
Dr. Daniel Goodman: Good God, Dr. Brennan!

---

"Bones: Fire in the Ice (#4.12)" (2009)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [watch Booth fight another hockey player] Booth seems to be winning.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: It's not Booth I'm worried about.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [watching Booth's Hockey game] I do not know how I feel about this.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Very primal.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: I like it! Just a little too much.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [opening the door] Hey. You two all right?... What?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Want to wait outside?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: But your hand might be broke. Do you want me to look at it?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No, that's all right. You can wait outside. It's the Men's Locker room, Bone.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Picking up a necklace on the victim] Wait a second.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth, you're not wearing any gloves!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, I... do you remember that guy I punched out last month during my hockey game, Pete Carlson?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes. When you broke your hand.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [indicating the body] That's him... I'm a suspect.
[Hands Bones the necklace and leaves]

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Waking up after getting hit by another Hockey player] Bones, what are you doing on the ice?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well I get nervous when you fall down and don't get up.

Wendell Bray: [Still disoriented after he gets knocked out during a hockey game] Don't worry. I got the blood.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Good work, Bones.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: *I'm* Bones.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That Agent Perotta, she really... enjoyed working with us.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: But, uh, you're the only FBI Agent I want to work with.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [while ice skating] Hey, you know what? Forget about Agent Perotta, all right? Nothing gonna change between me and you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well entropy is a natural force that pulls everything apart at a subatomic level. Everything changes.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Not everything, Bones.
[gives Bones a push]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Bones laughs] Don't.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Not everything.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You're gonna make me fall.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'm never gonna make you fall. I'm always here.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Any luck with the murder weapon?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes. We are certain it is not a screwdriver.

---

"Bones: A Boy in a Tree (#1.3)" (2005)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [flashes his badge] FBI Special Agent Seely Booth and a forensic anthropologist.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Dr. Temperance Brennan from the Jeffersonian Institute.
Zack Addy: Plus one crack assistant.

Mickey Santana: In order for an investigation to occur, you, Dr. Brennan, have to declare it a murder.
Dr. Daniel Goodman: Without an investigation, we can't find out if it's a murder, but there'll be no investigation unless Dr. Brennan declares it to be a murder.
[to Brennan]
Dr. Daniel Goodman: Shall I send for a philosopher?
Mickey Santana: Look, you're very experienced within your field, on bones and such, right? Doesn't your gut say "suicide"?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I don't actually use my gut for that, sir.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: She really, really doesn't.
Dr. Daniel Goodman: Like all of us at the Jeffersonian, Dr. Brennan prefers science to the digestive tract.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: The sign says Wong Fu's.
Sid Shapiro: Family name change at Ellis Island.

Sheriff Roach: Agent Booth, if you decide this is a suicide, it becomes my problem, correct?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Actually, the person who decides if this was a suicide is me.
Sheriff Roach: Let's give the bone lady some room.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [reading the school sign aloud] Omnia Mea Mecum Porto. What does that mean: regular people stay out?
Dr. Temperance Brennan, Zack Addy: I carry with me all my things.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: I've been thinking about your whole "something stinks" aptitude.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh yeah?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I think you have a subconscious knack for reading body language. Stress in the voice, other subtle yet discernible indicators. It's not mysterious, but it is impressive, and in the future...
[deep breath]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: ...I will try to accord it an appropriate degree of objective worth.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Thank you, Temperance. I appreciate that. So, uh, what part of "this is mine" did you not understand? Have to say it in Latin?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [gets up slowly, smiling slightly, and hands him the access pass he wanted while saying] Absit invidia.
["Let ill will be absent", i.e. "No offense"]

Dr. Temperance Brennan: You were right about the school, serving pudding.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Stirring the pudding...

Headmaster: Given your hostility, it's time we bring in a lawyer to advise us.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Or you take my advice. If you don't answer my questions, I'll take you down to FBI headquarters in handcuffs.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: He'll do it. He doesn't like you.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: [after catching the head that fell from the tree] I am going to need an evidence bag.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Heads up!
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [the body falls from the tree] I am going to need a bigger bag.

---

"Bones: The End in the Beginning (#4.25)" (2009)

Temperance 'Bren' Brennan: You know that glass of wine we share every night?
Seeley 'Mr. B' Booth: Yeah.
Temperance 'Bren' Brennan: I have to stop that.
Seeley 'Mr. B' Booth: Oh come on, Bren. Just because you have one glass of wine every night with your husband, doesn't mean you're an alcoholic.
Temperance 'Bren' Brennan: That's not why.
Seeley 'Mr. B' Booth: [pause realizes what she means] No?
[Bren chuckles]
Seeley 'Mr. B' Booth: Yeah! You're pregnant? A little boy, huh?
Temperance 'Bren' Brennan: Or girl.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You're awake. Your operation was a success, but you reacted poorly to the anesthia. You've been in a coma for 4 days.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It felt so real.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It wasn't real.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Who are you?

Max Keenan: Why is it so hard for your husband to see the ways of th world.
Temperance 'Bren' Brennan: Because he wants me to be proud of him.

Temperance 'Bren' Brennan: Cam says the reason I didn't hear the gunshot is because I'm cheating on you.
Seeley 'Mr. B' Booth: Oh, well Jared thinks I'm the killer. He's helping me get away with it.
Temperance 'Bren' Brennan: So you're a murderer. I'm unfaithful. We are an exciting couple.

Temperance 'Bren' Brennan: Max told me he works for the Gravedigger.
[Booth scoffs]
Temperance 'Bren' Brennan: He told me something else. He said that Jared works for him too.
[Booth groans]
Temperance 'Bren' Brennan: Don't get so mad. Max could be lying.
Seeley 'Mr. B' Booth: Look, I'm mad because I don't find it hard to believe at all.

Lance Sweets: Hey, so uh, we're Gormagon. Um, I mean the name of the band is Gormagon. Some people think I'm Gormagon, but I'm not. It's like there's no one named Floyd in Pink Floyd.
Seeley 'Mr. B' Booth: Just play Sweets.
Lance Sweets: Yeah.
Temperance 'Bren' Brennan: [Quietly to Booth] Gormagon's a stupid name. What does it even mean?

Temperance 'Bren' Brennan: What about entertainment?
Angela Montenegro: I thought Sweets was fantabulisticulous.
Seeley 'Mr. B' Booth: Nah. We got the Crue.
Temperance 'Bren' Brennan: What crew?

Seeley 'Mr. B' Booth: Should I be upset that everyone thinks we're murderers, or just happy that everyone is trying to help us get away with it?
Temperance 'Bren' Brennan: You should recognize that everything they do to help us, make us look more guilty, especially you.

Temperance 'Bren' Brennan: [to Booth] Poor Cam, and Jerod. You know if this murder is any indication, I don't know how any homicide is ever solved. Everyone lies. Everyone has a secret agenda. I'm glad we're nightclub owners, not crime solvers.

---

"Bones: Mayhem on a Cross (#4.20)" (2009)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Norway?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: We don't have enough crucified of our own, now the Vikings are sending them?

Clark Edison: The annual murder rate in Norway is 0.7.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Less than one murder a year?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: In that case, they should solve the ones they have, or they'll never get any practice.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: This is definitely murder.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: There are other possibilities.
Clark Edison: Uh, I have to admit none spring to mind.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: One possibility: drunken death obsessed satan worshipping drug abusing teens rob a grave and re-enact an ancient torture.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Ah, just another Saturday night.

Dr. Gordon Wyatt: [after Booth shoots some amplifiers] Yes, now if you recall, it was shooting at inanimate objects that had brought you to me for therapy in the first place.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I thought it was a justifiable shooting.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I agree.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: She agrees. See?

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Watching from his offioe and speaking to Bones with an earbud] Okay listen, Bones, you just tell him you don't care if he did it or not, you'll just throw his ass in jail.
[Bones scoffs]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It's all right to lie during an interrogation, it's a technique.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: The evidence is inconclusive regarding your guilt,
[rising up and starts yelling]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: But I will damn well make sure it's conclusive!
Dr. Lance Sweets: Whoa. What?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Atta girl, give it to him.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I will perjure myself if I have to because you... make... me... sick, punk!

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Sweets... has scars on his back. Old one.
Dr. Gordon Wyatt: Really?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What kind of scars?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Like he'd been whipped.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Whipped?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I saw them.
Dr. Gordon Wyatt: That explains his near obsession with your childhood trauma.

Dr. Lance Sweets: "Scars on the back?"
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I saw them, Sweets.
Dr. Lance Sweets: So... what? You just decided to share something from your past? That is so unlike you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I still hate psychology.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: My foster parents locked me in the trunk of a car for 2 days when I broke a dish. I was a very clumsy child. They warned me it would happen, but the water was so hot and the soap was so slippery. I still don't think it was fair, even though they gave me fair warning. The water was so hot.

---

"Bones: The Cinderella in the Cardboard (#4.19)" (2009)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Love is a chemical process which causes delusion. An intellectually rigorous person would never get married!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Never say never.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That's a paradox, makes no sense.
Dr. Marcus Scheer: Am I still needed here? Because if you two are having relationship issues, I should...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: We're not a couple.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: We just work together. That's all.

Mrs. Lucia Bertolino: You know this veil would be perfect for you dear.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Oh, well, it's symbol of virginity and I've been sexually active since I was...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Okay, Bones, we really have to get going.
[to Mrs. Bertolino]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Thank you so much for your help.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Is that your reason? Because weren't you and Angela sexually compatible?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [pause] It's not about the sex. I was looking for a meaningful connection.
Angela Montenegro: I get it Jack.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: You do?
Angela Montenegro: Yeah.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Why'd you tell Sweets? He's gonna come in here. He's gonna cry and stuff.
Dr. Lance Sweets: [Sweets stands at the doorway and knocks] Excuse me.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, God.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Um, do you have a minute?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Of course.
Dr. Lance Sweets: I was talking to Agent Booth. I need a minute alone.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Sure.
[Bones leaves]

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Did you really tell Sweets that Daisy was cheating on him?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Everyone seems to think I've done something terrible. I don't want to lie!
Dr. Camille Saroyan: In this case, it was definitely the way to go.

Wendell Bray: What happened to your measuring tape?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I don't know. Missing. There was a Post-It note from the Egyptology Department.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Look Bones, you can't go around telling everybody what's on your mind even though it's the truth. Okay? What if we were going out, right? And you were, you know, taking forever to get ready. You come out in this dress, and I told you I didn't like it. What are you gonna do?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'd reevaluate. Change or ignore you.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Of course you would Bones. Good answer.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I know intellectually jealousy is absurd, but I see that it's real for people... I even experience it myself.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: ...So, what are you jealous of?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Angela. Hodgins. Cam. You.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Why?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Because you all want to lose yourself in another person. You believe that love is trancedent and eternal... I want to believe that too.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hey, you will... I promise. Someday you will.

---

"Bones: The Con Man in the Meth Lab (#4.8)" (2008)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Nice hat, huh. Come on, I'll take you back to the lab.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: What happened with your RECO bust?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Looks at her] Nothing. Why?
[laughs shortly]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Have you been talking to Cam?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: No. Did you do something wrong?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Defensively] "What do you mean?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Well you didn't get the credit you deserved. What did you do?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Life is not always about credit.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Well, that's not what you said before. You said life was all about credit and that you were going to Hawaii and they were going to put you on a coin...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Alright, let's just forget about, ok Bones? Forget about it.
[Walks away]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Jared warned me that you tend to sabotage yourself.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Sarcastically] *Jared* said that?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Mm-hmm. He said that you're afraid of success.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Angry] Hm. So basically, I'm a loser.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: No, he never said the word loser.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Walks up to her] Do you think I'm a loser? Like that guy in there? Some clown in some dumbass uniform who basically can't do anything better? Is *that* what you think?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Well, anthropologically, males tend to rank themselves into a hierarchy. There is no shame in not being at the top of the hierarchy.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Furious] You're not answering the question, Bones. Answer *my* question.
[They stare at each other. Phone rings after a tense silence. He doesn't take his eyes off her and picks up his phone]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Booth.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: [after Angela meets Jared Booth] Are you thinking of leaving lesbianism behind?
Angela Montenegro: I prefer not to be labelled, okay?

Jared Booth: So who else have you got for me Seely?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What am I? Your pimp?
Jared Booth: Don't think I'm not appreciative.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Well Cam's got everything under control, so I can go.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What?
Jared Booth: Really?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Huh?
Jared Booth: Why, thank you.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [to Bones] No.
Jared Booth: Wha - uh - wait, this is Bones, right? Not some ugly FBI woman with a mustache.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I don't have a mustache, Jared.

Jared Booth: Maybe that's what made him a good sniper. He doesn't like to be visible above the ridgeline. So he keeps his head low. Instinct. Me, on the other hand, I cannot help but run that ridge.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Can you give me an example?
[Jared leans in and kisses Bones]
Jared Booth: I bet you Seely never took that risk.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Nope.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Can I offer you a little insight into Booth's little brother?
Dr. Clark Edison: Oh God, why am I always standing in precisely the wrong place?
[Clark starts to leave]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I didn't have sex with him, Cam.
Angela Montenegro: [Angela enters] Didn't have sex with who?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Jared Booth.
Angela Montenegro: Good.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Good? Why good?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Because... because...
Angela Montenegro: Because he's Booth's little brother. And it would just be a creepy way to have sex with a Booth without having sex with the *real* Booth.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Kudos Angela. I would not have had the guts to say that out loud.

Angela Montenegro: Jared is Booth lite. Booth is the real Booth.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Waht if Booth is Booth lite.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Do you think I'm a loser? Like that guy in there, some clown in some dumbass uniform who basically can't do any better. Is that what you think?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Well anthropologically, males tend to rank themselves into a hierarchy. There's no shame in not being at the top of the hierarchy.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You're not answering the question Bones. Answer my question!

Dr. Temperance Brennan: [to Jared] You took advantage of him. You know, you made me think that he's a loser! And what *really* makes me angry, is that I believed you! You know, I wouldn't blame Booth if he never spoke to me again. You're the loser!

---

"Bones: The Girl in the Fridge (#1.8)" (2005)

Zack Addy: [holds his fist up in the 'respect' sign]
[pause]
Zack Addy: You're supposed to bang your fist against mine.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Why?
Zack Addy: I'm told it's a widely accepted gesture for mutual success...
[trails off]
Angela Montenegro: I love it when you two impersonate earthlings.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: What? Is it so odd to see me with a man?
[Angela, Zack and Hodgins nod]

Dr. Temperance Brennan: [about Michael] We're friends. We're colleagues. That's all.
Angela Montenegro: Colleagues with benefits.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: I'm sorry if that's difficult for you to understand, but what we have isn't traditional.
Angela Montenegro: Don't talk to me about traditional, okay? I've dated circus people.

Joy Deaver: Dr. Brennan, you need to learn the difference between reality and perception. A trial is all about perception.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Wow. You're the reason civilization is declining.
Joy Deaver: [Looks at Booth] Talk to her.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I kinda agree with her.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Thanks.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Ah, I don't really agree with you, I just... I don't like her.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Listen, do you want my coat or something? It's cold up here.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: If I did, I'd ask for it.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah. Sorry. And, uhm, I'm sorry.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: You had something to accomplish. You found a logical way of getting what you needed. Probably would've done the same thing.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know, the regular stuff. When it gets old, you need to spice it up, it's over. When the sex is good, you don't need any help.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Oh, that's for sure!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'm sorry?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I was agreeing.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah? Well, don't. Okay? It kinda freaks me out.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: I've never gotten a B and I never will.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That's my girl.

---

"Bones: The Tough Man in the Tender Chicken (#5.6)" (2009)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Now you're just delving into pure science fiction.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Like a flatworm that's not science fiction. Or half-chicken that's not considered half-chicken.

Josh Parsons: Please I didn't kill anyone. I'm an extreme pacifist.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That's an oxymoron. You're either extreme, or pacifist. You can't be both.

Angela Montenegro: How are we friends? H-how is it possible? I mean we have nothing in common.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What? You don't want to be friends any more because the pig is cute?

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Quietly] Everything okay there, Bones? I know when there's something wrong with you. Something's wrong, right? What can I do to help?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Angela and I had a fight.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Loudly] Nothing I can do to help!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You want to hear about it?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Why not?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Why? Because her and Angela are best friends. And Bones is gonna want me to take her side and agree that Angela was wrong. And then you know, the two of them are going to make up and then they're going to get mad at me. So no thank you.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Listen Bones, I would do anything for you. I would die for you. I would kill for you. But I am *not* getting between two best friends.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Okay.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Booth grabs Bones's hand as she's leaving] Whoa. Whoa. Listen Bones, everything's going to be okay between you and Angela. All right? You two are like sisters.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'm just... not used to not getting along with people.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Seriously? Because it seems like -
[the table thumps]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Thanks Booth.

Dr. Lance Sweets: Sometimes you don't save the world, Dr. Brennan... Sometimes you just make your friends happy.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Even when it's irrational?
[Looking at Angela's pig photo]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: He is very... very cute. I mean it's almost like he's smiling.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You noticed something. See? You still got it.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You're not going to ask me what I saw?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Do I want to know?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No... Do you want to know anyway?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No. I can wait... I trust you.

---

"Bones: The Science in the Physicist (#4.18)" (2009)

Angela Montenegro: [Rising up] Sweetie, can you pay for this? I have to go.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Sure. Why?
Angela Montenegro: I have to save Hodgins's life.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [From inside the lab] FIRE IN THE HOLE!
[Cannon goes off. Booth tries to shield Bones]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What the hell was that?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Hodgins exits the lab] We're okay. Everything's okay.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: We should get out of here before lock down. Let Cam deal with it.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah. All right.
[They both run for the exit as the alarm goes off]
Dr. Camille Saroyan: [to Hodgins and Nigel] You know you're grounded, right?

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You're testing me on the cancer chair?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, you're wearing a suit. Plus it's not radioactive anymore... We're going to need to take this chair.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No. No. No. No. You don't just go around doing human testing on people, Bones!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's just...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I gotta go to the bathroom.
[Booth leaves]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I touched it with my bare hands... See?

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You disapprove of the Collar Institute?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Up and forward are only two directions. Science should look in all directions. You taught me that.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I did?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Everyday.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Thank you.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: So you think that two people who care about each other, they leave metamophorical marks which should be allowed to fade naturally?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You heard me but you just didn't understand me.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I wonder that about you all the time.

Landis Collar: [after hitting Booth] That's for killing my fiancée.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: One person to your left Dr. Collar.
Landis Collar: [Collar hits the right target this time] My apologies Agent Booth. My echo-locator must have malfunctioned.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know what? You're the only smart person I really like.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Thank you.
[They start to leave interrogation together]
Dr. Lance Sweets: What about me?
[the door closes]

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Okay, listen... We just gotta stop hanging out with geniuses because you're gonna figure out that I'm really stupid.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What? Don't worry about that.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hmm?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I figured out a long time ago how stupid you are.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hmm.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What I just said is... true. And yet it... really sounded wrong. What I should say is that I don't care how stupid you are... It's not any better?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No. No. Not at all.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [the squints join them] Okay, well, there is intelligence which I have, and Mr. Nigel-Murray.
Vincent Nigel-Murray: Oh thank you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: And Sweets, even though, his is so misdirected as to be meaningless.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Wow. Backhand full of knuckles with that compliment.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: And Hodgins... And Angela... not so much, but she's very talented.
Angela Montenegro: Thank you very much.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You're welcome. But then there's another quality. Which is the ability to use intelligence. That is what you have.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Thanks Bones.

---

"Bones: The Bones That Foam (#4.15)" (2009)

Vincent Nigel-Murray: Forgive me, doctors. But is the skin moving?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Ooo. God that's strange.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Insect activity?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I've never seen insects like that... except in Alien.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Running the bugs through the mass spec. Not getting any toxins. But they might not have fed on the remains yet. In other words, I need more *samples*.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: We all need more samples.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: I know. I would just like us all to stay alive during the process.

Chet Newcomb: It was an accident?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No, he was
[trying to speaking quietly to Booth]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What's the sensitive way to say murdered?
Chet Newcomb: Murdered?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Sorry, but when you're ready, we'd like to ask you a few questions about your brother's...
Chet Newcomb: Murder.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: We're sorry for your loss.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I want to do that.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Do what?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Connect to people like Booth does. You can teach me.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Oh I don't know.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: In the spirit of scientific equity, I'd like to see if what you say about psychology is true.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Did you just dare me, Dr. Brennan?

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [after Booth gets a lap dance] Did he get in a fight with one of the bouncers?
Strawberry Lust: No. With another car salesman. You know that Indian guy, Buddy.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: From Criterion.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: He lied to you.
[Bones starts to rise up]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You should go talk to Buddy.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yes. I-I should.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: The tell Ms. Lust to get up.
Strawberry Lust: I think that might be a little embarrassing right now, huh, baby?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That's my gun.
[to Bones]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Give us a moment.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Okay.
[Bones sits back down]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Outside.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What's outside?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Outside, please?
[Nervous chuckle]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Did we get our $60 worth yet?

Vincent Nigel-Murray: The fire appears not to have damaged the remains.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: How did it start?
[Hodgins and Nigel point to the remains]
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Oh, I see. You're going with the old blame the corpse defense.

Angela Montenegro: Because what Booth has can't be learned from baby-boy shrink. Booth's brilliant at pretending to be stupider than he actually is, most of the time.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Brilliant at stupidity?
Angela Montenegro: Especially around you. Okay here's what Newcomb's skeleton looke like 12 hours ago.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why would Booth do that?
Angela Montenegro: Well, he knows you like to be the smart one. So he let's you have that.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Refering to the Audi] Driving a machine like this is like making love, you have to go gently.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I go for more passionate and uninhibited than for gentle.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, gently.

---

"Bones: The Perfect Pieces in the Purple Pond (#4.4)" (2008)

Angela Montenegro: All right, these are children's shoes, but they're size 11.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: So you think are victim was a giant toddler?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No. That would show up in the bones.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Sarcasm does not play with on the forensic platform.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: If your back doesn't hurt then why are you letting me drive?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well you know what? Don't get used to it. because I heal really really fast.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: My guys, they didn't find the victim's head in the pool. All right? So I've put out a bulletin to orthopedic doctors within 200 miles of the body drop.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: The body parts drop. The victim was killed chopped up, and then dropped.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Breaking in a new intern, aren't you?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: How did you know?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well because, you know, you're always get overly precise. That's how I ususally know.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Sweets, what are you doing?
Dr. Lance Sweets: I'm putting myself in the mind of an obsessive compulsive in order to figure out where I might conseal a... memory enhancer, a psycho-sexual proxy.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Right. Right. What's that mean?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Masturbatory aide.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, check the shoes.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Good.
[Starts checking the shoes]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: WHAT? You're not going to find it in the shoes.
[Sweets holds up something]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Do all boys keep their masturbatory aides in their shoes or is that particular to *you*?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That's for me to know and you to find out.

Gary Tushman: Book-wise, it's no longer about good writing per-se. It's about marketability.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Of the book.
Gary Tushman: Of the author. There's a reason why your photo takes up the entire back cover of your books.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Because I'm a very good writer.
Gary Tushman: You're serviceable, but your success is contingent on your image as a hot scientist chick.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That's not true, is it?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Of course not! Don't call my partner a chick! What's the matter with you?

Dr. Jack Hodgins: I just wish Zack was here, that's all.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You gotta get over it. Zack's not coming back!
Dr. Zack Addy: I know where to find the victim's head.
[Everyone turns and stare at Zack]
Dr. Camille Saroyan: This is not good.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: How did you get out?
Dr. Zack Addy: You don't look happy to see me.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, we're not!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: *I* am. I really am.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You know my reviews, Booth. But... do you read my books?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Every single word.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You never said anything.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well I figured, you know, I'm all over your real world. Why would you want me in your fantasy world too?

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [to Professor Amerian] Was Jared Addison one of your students?
Jim Amerian: I'm bound by patient confidentiality, I'm sure you understand?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Jared was chopped into pieces and tossed away into an industrial pool.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: And that is not one of your... therapy exercises, now is it?

---

"Bones: Aliens in a Spaceship (#2.9)" (2006)

Dr. Temperance Brennan: ...Then the concussion will turn our brains to jelly.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Oh, good, then we can run for Congress.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Someone ran me down with a car.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: We knew that already.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah, but now we've proved it and I find I'm very annoyed.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Had it occurred to you that God is a lot like the Grave Digger?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What?
[does a double take]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Wha-what?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: He lays down the rules, no way to question him or negotiate. Then, it's almost as though he doesn't care how it works out. Either you do as he says, make some sacrifices and are delivered, or you don't and you end up in Hell.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [As their about to use Angela's perfume for a test] Three grand that cost.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Hodgins, I will split the cost when we get out of here.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: There's something you don't know about me. ... I'm rich.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [shrugs] Me too.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: No, no. You're ... well-off. My family owns the Canteliver Group. And there's not many of us left alive. One to be exact. Me.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Okay, I won't split the cost with you.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: You've got a lot of faith in Booth.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: No. Faith is an irration belief in somethingg that is logically impossible. Over time I've seen what Booth can do. It's not faith.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: No offense. And I'm not saying this because you filleted me with a knife. We are out of air. We don't know if our message got out, much less if anyone understood it. And we are buried underground. What you have is faith, baby.
[chuckles]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Sorry about the "baby" thing, reflex.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: [as their about to set off some explosives] Ready?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah. ... Dr. Brennan it's been a privilige.
[they hug each other]

Dr. Temperance Brennan: I'm okay with you thanking God for saving me and Hodgins.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That's not what I'm thanking God for. I thanked him for saving all of us. It was all of us. Every single one. You take one of us away and you and Hodgins are in that hole forever. And I'm thankful for that.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: I knew you wouldn't give up.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I knew you wouldn't give up.

---

"Bones: The Princess and the Pear (#4.14)" (2009)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [after Perotta hangs up with Booth] I don't need a sitter. Booth gets needlessly protective sometimes. I have no idea why.
Special Agent Payton Perotta: You really don't, do you?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No.

Angela Montenegro: So you didn't actually paralyze him?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No. The Vicodin seems to be working. He claims it makes the furniture feel friendly. But he'll be on bed rest for the remainder of the week.

Special Agent Payton Perotta: Dr. Brennan, nice to see you. I was honored you requested me as a substitute for Agent Booth.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: The variables involved in breaking in a new person outweigh the benefits of possibly finding a better investigator.
Special Agent Payton Perotta: Ah, let's not get gushy about it.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I've seen many unusal murder weapons, so the fact that I don't recognize *this* one, eliminates the others.
Colin Fisher: Wow. My kind of silver lining. It's depressing.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: So why wasn't Perotta with you?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I was with Sweets.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That's like being protected by a smurf. Not the sheriff. The guy who was in charge. I don't even know his name, but he was a small blue guy.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I don't need a baby sitter. Booth gets needlessly protective sometimes. I have no idea why.
Special Agent Payton Perotta: You really don't, do you?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No.
Special Agent Payton Perotta: Just call me, please.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [about Sweets' Costume at the convention] Where did Sweets get a costume so quickly?
Special Agent Payton Perotta: My guess would be his closet.

---

"Bones: The Double Death of the Dearly Departed (#4.21)" (2009)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Drink up will ya.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Cause I'm hoping that you're gonna pass out.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: There are no such things as zombies. Just an island superstition.
Dr. Jonah Amayo: And now you've managed to insult an entire culture and their belief system.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: She does that to everyone.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: I'm done. I'm going to need some transport for me an my friend.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What friend?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: I meant Hank. I was being oblique.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Right after we get back from sushi.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Sushi? You're going for sushi?

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Okay, we stole Hank's body in order to confirm he was murdered.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan, Special Agent Seeley Booth: Translated!
Dr. Lance Sweets: You're totally yanking my chain!

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Oh, do you think Barney killed Hank?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Why don't you ask him?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why? Is it because I'm an attractive, sexy, young woman who can loosen his tongue?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh definitely, of course there's that. Plus he wants you to publish his book.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: When I inevitably drop dead before you. I'd like you come out and spend some time and talk to me every once in a while.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'll feel foolish knowing you can't hear me.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Promise.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: ...I promise.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hey, there you go. Huh? You agreed. I didn't think you would agree. Now, why did you agree?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I believe that if I pretended you were still here. I would feel better for a moment. Also speaking to you would require me to figuratively look at myself through your eyes, again temporarily. And I think that would make me live my life more successfully.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know what Bones? That's the best thing that anyone has ever said about me.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Just make sure when they put me in the ground, I'm dead.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No problem.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Maybe uh, you know, leave my body our for a few hours and check on me every once in a while.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'd rather refrigerate, or you'd start to smell.

---

"Bones: The Killer in the Concrete (#2.18)" (2007)

Dr. Temperance Brennan: [to the Phone] Yes. This is Dr. Brennan at the Jeffersonian. I just received a call from Agent Booth that he's being held at
[motions to Angela for some papers]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: the Purdue Airfield in Oakville, Virginia. Send back up. I'm going in.
[hangs up the receiver]
Angela Montenegro: You just lied your ass off to the Federal Bureau of Investigation.
[Bones ignores the comment and leaves]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: That is so hot.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Have you turned Russ into a criminal, too?
Max Keenan: Hey, I haven't committed a crime in over fifteen years. I'm straight.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Except for killing, gutting and burning the Deputy Director of the F.B.I.
Max Keenan: He was trying to kill Russ, and then he was going after you. It is not a crime to protect your family.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Well, some fathers do it without killing.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Thank you.
Tim: You're welcome. Your dad's a psycho by the way.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: You have no idea.
Tim: Bye.

Angela Montenegro: What can't you tell me?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: By definition, I can't tell you.

Angela Montenegro: All right, you're after a crazy old ice-pick hit man who has Booth. You need help. Look at my face. Do you *really* see me backing down?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I - I already have help, Ange.
Angela Montenegro: From whom?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: From someone worse than Kennedy.
Angela Montenegro: Are you serious?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Don't say it!
Angela Montenegro: Your father is helping you?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I have to go.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Booth is being held by Melvin Gallagher.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: That's a leap. How do you know?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Can we just go with this please?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Of course not.
Angela Montenegro: Obviously, Brennan found out from her father who is a wanted fugitive.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Ange!
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Now that I can go with.

Max Keenan: [to Bones] I need your car.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [lying on the ground still immobilized] Max Kennan, you're under arrest.
Max Keenan: Not if I get the keys.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: They're in the ignition.
[Max kisses Bones on the forehead and leaves]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Wha?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Well, it's not like I actually *gave* him the keys.

---

"Bones: The Woman in the Car (#1.11)" (2006)

Agent Pickering: Didn't I see you on television this morning, Dr. Brennan?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: How could I possibly know what you watched on television?

[Bones and Booth visit a suspect's home, and take on two men that Booth spots watching the building]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [covers first man with gun] FBI!
First man: [aims his gun back at Booth while the second man covers Bones] U.S. Marshals!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [puzzled] U.S. Marshals?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [holds up hands] Forensic anthropologist! That's why no gun.

Agent Pickering: When you were in Cuba, did you meet with a man named Juan Guzman?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [pause. Bones picks up her phone and dials a number] Hello. It's Dr. Brennan from the Jeffersonian. You told me to call you if anyone asked about... you know... him... Someone from the State Department named Samantha Pickering.
[hands the phone to Pickering]
Agent Pickering: Pickering. Yes, sir! Yes... I'll wait... I'll wait here.
[hands the phone back to Bones. Bones hangs up the receiver]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Any more questions?
Agent Pickering: No. Uh, no. In fact, the entire review process is suspended. And I'm to wait here until someone comes to destroy my notes.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [heading to where they think the kidnappers are] Why don't we ever take my car?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Do you have bulletproof vests in the trunk?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That's why.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That makes sense. If K.B.C. Systems is behind the kidnapping, then Seward would be the person to call it off.
Carl Decker: A rational human being? How'd you find yourself amongst these people?

Stacy Goodyear: I'm Stacie Goodyear and joining me on Wake Up, D.C. is Dr. Temperance Brennan. She is the author of the best-selling mystery novel "Bred in the Bone" and she's also - now tell me if I get this wrong - an anthropologist who works with the F.B.I. to solve crimes?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes, that's correct. I use the bones of people who have been murdered, or burned, or blown up, or eaten by animals or insects, or just decomposed.
Stacy Goodyear: Well, that's exciting. Uh, Dr. Brennan, your book has sold over 300,00 copies. How do you juggle twin careers as a best-selling author and a crime-fighting scientist?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, I do one, then the other.
Stacy Goodyear: And is the work enjoyable? I mean, the part involving rotten bodies?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Enjoyable? Well, satisfying, yes. Like cracking a code. But in general, when you're looking at someone who's been brutally murdered... it's complicated.
Stacy Goodyear: 'Cause I just thought, you know, yuck!
[she laughs, but Brennan doesn't]
Stacy Goodyear: Doesn't leave you much time for a personal life, does it?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's true I'm more focused on my career right now.
Stacy Goodyear: Most of our viewers are parents at home with their pre-school-aged children. What will you tell your kids about the horrors that you see everyday?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'm not going to have any children.
Stacy Goodyear: Really?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes, really.
Stacy Goodyear: Do you have any advice for budding authors out there?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, the first thing you should have is an idea and then... Well, first you need something to write with. They... they know that. Well, obviously you need a writing instrument and you need an idea. I'm just not sure which should come first.
Stacy Goodyear: The book is "Bred in the Bone" by Dr. Temperance Brennan. Next up after the break: wicker, the new leather. But is it safe for your children?

---

"Bones: Death in the Saddle (#3.3)" (2007)

FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: Here we are, all of us, basically alone, separate creatures, just circling each other, all searching for that slightest hint of a real connection. Some look in the wrong places, some they just give up hope because in their mind they're thinking "Oh there's nobody out there for me," but all of us, we keep trying over and over again. Why? Because every once in a while... every once in a while, two people meet and there's that spark, and yes, Bones, he's handsome and she's beautiful and maybe that's all they see at first, but making love... making love... that's when two people become one.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: It is scientifically impossible for two objects to occupy the same space.
FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, but what's important is we try. And when we do it right, we get close.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: To what? Breaking the laws of physics?
FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, Bones - a miracle.

Tom Mularz: [after having been slammed into a wall by agent Booth] What'd you hit me with?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: A building.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: What was with all the lying? "We've got voice tapes and public display of sexual paraphernalia"?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I was role playing. I was being all lard ass and good cop.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hard ass and bad cop, Bones. Hard ass and bad cop.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Stop, or I'll kick you in the testicles!

Dr. Temperance Brennan: [while pursuing a suspect] Stop! Or I'll kick you in the testicles!

Dr. Temperance Brennan: [searching around a body with both feet cut off] I got a foot...
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Me, too.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Find a third one, and I'll be impressed.

---

"Bones: The Passenger in the Oven (#4.9)" (2008)

Dr. Temperance Brennan: [passengers applauding as the airplane lands and Booth arrests the murderer] Thank you, thank you.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: What?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: The applause was for the plane landing.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Oh.

Nadine Spring: What is that delicious smell?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Roast Pork.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: See, uh, we're partners. We like being together.
Kate McNutt: Your sexual relationship's not relevant sir. This is first class.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [to Booth] Why does everyone else think we have a sexual realtionship? I mean, we barely even touch each other.

Caroline Julian: You got this backwards, cherie. I am not an investigator.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Neither am I. And here I am taking apart another murder victim.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Seeing Bones wearing glasses] Right. What I want you to do is take off your glasses, shake out your hair and say "Mr. Booth, do you know what the penalty is for an overdue book?"
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Why?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Never mind.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'm the one who dragged you out of pure sciene and... pulled you into murder-solving.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: That's not how I remember it.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Really?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Yes. As I recall, I had to force you to take me into the field.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Really?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Yes. You didn't want to, remember? This is all my fault.

---

"Bones: The Boneless Bride in the River (#2.16)" (2007)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Don't knock therapy, ok? Dr. Wyatt has helped me realize there are certain pressures that build up on the job, and I need creative ways...
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [interjecting] We do everything together.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: - of dealing with them.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: What exactly do you have to contend with on the job that I don't?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You, Bones. You don't have to contend with you.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Okay, I want the whole kip and canoodle transported to the Jeffersonian.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [looks at Brennan in disbelief] Kit and caboodle.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Whatever.

[at the docks after Sully leaves in his boat, Brennan turns sadly to find Booth waiting for her]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: What are you doing here?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I am waving good-bye. See?
[he waves]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: What do you want?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Breakfast.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I'm not hungry.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, come on, huh?
[Booth puts his arm around Bones and walks with her]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What are you gonna vomit when you come across one of those horrific cases?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I don't vomit.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Give it time, Bones, okay? Give it time. Everything happens eventually.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Everything?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: All the good stuff. And when you think it never happens, it happens. Just got to be ready for it.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: The physicist who couldn't tie his shoes? Oh, the former professor who was jealous of your own success. Should I stop?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [quickly] Yes.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, the guy you found on the Internet and ended up being some kind of recruiter for a cult. Oh and this is my *favorite*. The guy who cut off his own brother's head because he thought he was possessed by a witch.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: You made your point.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Look I'm just saying a guy who wants to take you away from all *this* on a sailboat for a year, that's a step up!
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Condescending.

Special Agent Tim Sullivan: You know Booth, uh, is a really good guy.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: He says the same about you.
Special Agent Tim Sullivan: Really? Cause I figured he was the one talking you out of going with me.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: No. He told me to go. Angela did too. Everyone thinks it's a great idea.
Special Agent Tim Sullivan: Everyone except you.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Give it time, Bones, okay? Give it time. Everything happens eventually.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Everything?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: All that stuff that you think never happens, it happens. You just got to be ready for it.

---

"Bones: The Santa in the Slush (#3.9)" (2007)

Dr. Lance Sweets: I don't understand has there been some kind of crisis?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes. I have a crisis.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [quietly] Bones, it was just mistletoe.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: ...Not the kiss. That was nothing.
Dr. Lance Sweets: You *kissed*?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Mistletoe.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That's not the crisis.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Was there tongue?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: All right, you know what? Get your own sex life.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That has nothing to do with sex.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Nothing.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: There was no s- It was mistletoe.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Totally sexless.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [after kissing Booth] It was like kissing my brother.
Caroline Julian: You sure must like your brother.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: She does.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Bones is hanging mistletoe in her office] What is with the mistletoe?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I was going to talk to you about this. Caroline wants us to kiss under the mistletoe.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's the only way she'll make Christmas for my family.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What, by having us kiss?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Why?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Because she's feeling puckish.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Puckish? What's that mean?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Listen, Booth, she's gonna be here any second. Do you want some gum?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No, my breath is just fine. Alright, look, I'll have a talk with Caroline.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [surprised] No?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'm only telling you out of professional courtesy.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: So that you won't be surprised.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, when you say kiss, you mean like kiss-kiss, like on both cheeks?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No, the lips.
[Booth gives a little apprehensive smile]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Like brother and sister. Colleagues. French people meeting on the street.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Caroline's feeling puckish, huh?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It means playful and impish.
Caroline Julian: [Caroline walks in] Congratulations. I hear you have a suspect in the Santa slaying.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah. Well, it looks like the Easter Bunny has nothing to worry about.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Did you talk to the judge about the trailer?
Caroline Julian: Yes, I did. What about your end?
[Bones points to the mistletoe]
Caroline Julian: Well! Look at that. Mistletoe. You take a step to your right, you'll be right under the cute little sprig.
[She shoves Booth so he's standing under the mistletoe with Bones. He stammers a slight protest, gives up, and he and Bones kiss]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Was that enough steamboats?

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [She and Booth have just kissed under the mistletoe] Was that enough steamboats?
Caroline Julian: Plenty. A whole flotilla.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I don't know what that means, but, um, Merry Christmas.

Dr. Lance Sweets: I don't understand, has there been some kind of crisis?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes, I have a crisis.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, it was just mistletoe.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Not the kiss, that was nothing.
Dr. Lance Sweets: You kissed?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: *Mistletoe.*
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That's not the crisis.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Was there tongue?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Alright, you know what, get your own sex life.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Scoffs] That has nothing to do with sex.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Nothing.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: There was no... it was... mistletoe.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It was totally sexless.
Dr. Lance Sweets: I'm all ears.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth, who is a very honest person, says that at this time of year deception is necessary for the happiness of little children.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No, I'm being misquoted.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Booth is absolutely right.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: She got the gist...
Dr. Lance Sweets: Yeah, there's a fictional element to Christmas.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You mean the whole 'Birth of a Savior' rigamarole.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It is *not* rigamarole.
Dr. Lance Sweets: No, no. Dr. Brennan, it's the feeling of Christmas. What people call the Christmas spirit. It's a kind of dream or hope we carry with us from childhood. But as adults...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Are you including you in that?
Dr. Lance Sweets: As adults we're imbued by the pragmatic ruitines of life, which makes it difficult for us to regard anything with childlike wonder. But, you know, it's alright for us to try. We put on silly hats, and drape trees with sparkly lights, and wrap gifts in garish paper, and that's good for us. It's not only alright for us to allow children the transient experience of innocence and joy, it's our responsibility.
[Bones and Booth contemplate that for a bit]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Okay.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Okay?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I found that very helpful.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Scoffs] It's what I've been saying for the past four days.

---

"Bones: The Bond in the Boot (#5.2)" (2009)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [to Sweets] Since the coma, Booth can't remember how to take care of his own plumbing.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know, that's great. You make it sound like I gotta wear diapers.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I try not to get attached to my assistants. I've learned that even the best ones can disappoint.

Mandy Summers: We weren't supposed to date. I guess it's not like the FBI. We're not allowed to sleep with someone we're working with.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Wha - is she talking about us?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: We're not...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No!
Mandy Summers: Oh, it's okay. I'm CIA. My lips are sealed.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You want to know what's in that case? You call in the cavalry!
Arthur Rutledge: I know how to do my job.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well then how come we found the killer and the case?

Special Agent Seeley Booth: The Stars on the Memorial Wall represent agents who died courageously while serving their country.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Memorial Walls are reserved for agents. Mr. Dorit was not an agent.
Arthur Rutledge: In Mr. Dorit's case, I asked that an exception be made.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know, Bones. I'm glad that we don't have any secrets between each other.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yeah. I like that.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I mean, if we have something on our mind we just share it.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Sure. Even with all the financial and intellectual contradictions I still feel close to you.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Right. Because, you know, none of that matters anyway.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, sometimes looking at it through your eyes, I believe that.

---

"Bones: The Girl in the Mask (#4.22)" (2009)

Ken Nakamura: Most of the FBI Agents showed up and started telling us how to handle our organized crime problem. Booth said nothing. Two, three days, just listening.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: He was quiet? That
[slight chuckle]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: that does not sound like Booth.
Ken Nakamura: Then he asked a question. He asked "How would you gentlemen handle *our* organized crime problem?" He was respectful.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That is the basis of your friendship?
Ken Nakamura: That and the situation incited by a gallon of Sake on a police boat at Uruaga Harbor at dawn.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [to the masseuse] Hitting the illohypogastic nerve can can be extremely painful.
[Demonstrates on Vogler. Vogler screams in pain]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Where's the sword?
Paul Vogler: I
[Bones applies more pressure. Vogler screams again]
Paul Vogler: God! I am not saying another word to you people without my lawyer.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Fine. That's fine with us. We'll be in touch. Come on Bones.
[Booth and Bones leave. As they're almost out the door Vogler screams in pain. They look back and see the masseaus applying pressure to the nerve]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Oh, she's a quick learner.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah. Very quick.

Ken Nakamura: [speaking of his sister] She felt like a woman. Wanted to be rid of big brother watching her all the time.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: My parents left me and my brother when I was 15. My brother was the only family I had. But he left me too.
Ken Nakamura: I'm sorry.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I turned out quite well actually. But it would have been nice to have a brother like you.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I myself have not one in my life whom I talk to that much, outside of work I mean. Perhaps that is good.
Ken Nakamura: How so?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I can see how much pain you're in... Is it worth it?... To have your own happiness so contingent on another human being.
Ken Nakamura: If I was willing to give up my life for Sachi... why would I not be willing to risk my happiness for her?

Ken Nakamura: If you think the photographer is the killer, I want to be there!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Nak, if you budge from the Jeffersonian, I will put you on the first plane back to Japan. You understand? You know me. And you know that's true.
[Booth ends the call]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You were kind of mean there, Booth.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Man's in big pain, Bones. Makes it hard for him to hear.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I just mean that we should be designed so we can handle the worst.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: We *are* designed that way. We aren't sent anything we can't handle.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'm not convinced that loving someone is worth it.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I've got a son and it's worth it.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Even if he died?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Whoa! Bones don't even say anything like that. Don't even put that out there. It is worth it. And everything around it is worth it... Every moment. Everything is worth it.

---

"Bones: The Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood (#5.4)" (2009)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Now how is it any more odd than say shaving your face, or putting on make up?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: I'm not hanging up because I don't have an answer for that. I'm just hanging up.

James Perry: Oh my God! You won't let that go. Even the FBI thinks we killed Kurt for poisoning our dog... We don't think that he poisoned our dog.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: He does.
Nate Grunenfelder: Now that I think about it. Rocky totally died of cancer.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You seriously believe all the hoo-ha?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's anthropology, so yes.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Wrong ology. Keep your grubby anthro hands off my psych.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Where'd you get the saltpeter?
Kelly Bissette: Oh, um, Nate and James have stump remover, and that's 98% saltpeter. I figured that might be enough to remove Kurt's stump from her garden.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You're each other's alibis. All three of you were together at the time of death.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Your alibi just became an anti-alibi.

Parker Booth: Couldn't you be his girlfriend?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Buddy, you're gonna have to quit that.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That would be inappropriate.
Parker Booth: Why?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Because... we work together.
Parker Booth: That's a stupid reason.

---

"Bones: Double Trouble in the Panhandle (#4.11)" (2009)

Dr. Lance Sweets: Um, can I offer a piece of advice?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well that's why we called you, Sweets.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Don't try too hard to be their friends. Act like you're more interested in each other than any of them, all right? They will come to you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Okay, thanks Sweets.
[Hangs up]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: So, uh, sex right?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: ...Oh good idea.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Okay.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Okay, well, I think what we need to do is get a syncopated rhythm going that takes advantage of the natural frequency of the springs.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Are you this spontaneous during real sex?

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, look at them... clowns.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, the psychiatric term for fear of clowns is coulrophobia.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It's not fear, it's hate. Okay? Big difference.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Dr. Brennan, if you do have to perform, any chance that you could set up a webcam so we could watch? You know, to see if we might be of any help with the case, I mean.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yeah, absolutely, anything to help.
[Cam covers the webcam with her hand and gives a thumbs up to Hodgins]

Dr. Albert Muir: Which is the only reason we kept the relationship a secret.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: 'Relationship?'... Sexual relationship?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: How? Well when you were - I'm trying to understand. When, uh, you and Julie...
Dr. Albert Muir: The girls had separate genitalia. A fair amount of privacy could be achieved by an eye mask, and an MP3 player turned up very loud. Julie liked the Kings of Leon. Jenny liked Maroon 5.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: We should arrest him.
Dr. Albert Muir: Wait, on what charges?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Definitely positive for the whole suspicion of murder thing. But, you know, the uh, other thing is just, uh, it's... well, *confusing*.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Buck was more dashing than you. I mean, Buck drove a motorcycle.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, Wanda was funner than you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: How?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, she let me knock off a rubber nose from her face with a knife. You would never let me do that. You're *way* too rationale.

---

"Bones: A Night at the Bones Museum (#5.5)" (2009)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Oh, The Mummy. 1932.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: You don't know who Brittney Spears is, but you know this movie?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's the film that made me want to be an anthropologist. Although I prefer Chaney's mummy to Karloff's.

Angela Montenegro: Wait, this is his boss's boss. Was Booth upset?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes. I don't know why.
Angela Montenegro: Brennan, this could screw up the natural order of things. And Booth wishes you were going out with him.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I drink with him all the time, but with Andrew there's the potential for sex.
Angela Montenegro: And not with Booth?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: ...You - you said there was something important for me to see.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Whoa. Whoa. How's this going to help us catch Kaswell's killer?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It won't. But it could exonerate Anok. There can be no time limit for justice, Booth.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, Dr. Kaswell's killer is out there now. We're running out of suspects.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: We'll do it Booth.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why are you so upset?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Because... what goes on between us is ours.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Come on Booth. You must've told a lot of people the meatloaf story, right?
[Long silence]

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You could be destroying evidence.
Auto Detailer: Oh man! A - another drug dealer? It's not my fault. I do a good job, so word of mouth it gets around and...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Is he a regular customer?
Auto Detailer: No. He saw my ad at the laundromat.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: The laund - No wonder you have no one drug dealers coming to you.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You're great at these things. You changed history. How many people can say that?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You can. Every arrest you make changes history. You make the world safer.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: With your help.

---

"Bones: The Salt in the Wounds (#4.16)" (2009)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Were there any major developments in your daughter's life in the weeks leading up to her death?
Ellen Clark: [to her husband] He means drugs was - was Ashley doing drugs.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No. We don't mean drugs.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No. No drugs. Were you aware that your daughter was pregnant?

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Despite the fact that you aren't a real medical doctor, you have been quite helpful. Thanks.
Dr. Sean Fitts: Oh, you're welcome. Oh and by the way, you *aren't* a real medical doctor either.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Ouch!

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It will take too long, and a positive result is debatable.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Lucky for me I'm the boss.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: ...I claim one of my freebies!
Dr. Camille Saroyan: I claim one of my freebie declines!

Angela Montenegro: But all beauty is transient and of the moment.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Like a sunset is beautiful.
Angela Montenegro: Sounds like we're in agreement, which is worrying me just a little.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Some of us take coffee breaks. Some of us take smoke breaks. Mr. Vaziri takes a spiritual break.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Who smokes?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: [Nervously] Nobody. Not very often any way. Just... very rarely, in times of great stress.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Anthropologically speaking those girls have grown up in a culture that reinforces the sad truism that - women cannot count on men.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Don't say "men" like that. Men don't like a world without responsibility.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: But - that boy whom those young girls chose as their sperm donor, he seemed... more than happy with the arrangement.
[Long pause as Booth considers what Bones said]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You're right.
[Booth takes out his cellphone]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I know. Who are you calling?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Speaking into his cellphone] Clinton? This is Agent Booth. I need to talk to you.

---

"Bones: The Skull in the Sculpture (#4.7)" (2008)

Dr. Camille Saroyan: [after Dr. Sweets tells Daisy that she is fired, they decide to come out with their relationship and begin making out on the forensic platform] That's a method of termination I've never tried. But bravo, Dr. Sweets.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Whoa. They'll never work. They're like complete opposites.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I agree. For all her faults she's a woman of science. Sweets bases his life on the vagaries of psychology and emotion. You know, there's no common ground.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Right.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You need common ground. What else is there?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Absolutely.
[Then Bones and Booth look intently towards each other]

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: If you're relying on superstition for safety perhaps I should carry the gun.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No. You are definitely *not* carrying the gun!

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [as Booth is picking a lock] Look, if anybody asks, the door was open.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No, it isn't.
[Booth turns and looks at her]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Ahh right.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I was going to say that I had an accident over here, but I don't like lying.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: You dumped a bucket full of domestic beetles onto this work of art. They'll strip the flesh off our victim in no time.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Within 30 hours... Am I fired?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Au contraire. Remind me of this moment around Christmas bonus time.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Okay, now what we want to do here is remove the skull very carefully.
[Daisy reaches for the skull]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Carefully.
[Daisy accidentally crushes the skull]
Dr. Camille Saroyan: ...I can't believe you did that.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Bummer.
Daisy Wick: Usually when you say "we" you mean me! I'm so sorry. I'll put it together. I will stay up all night!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'll do it.
Daisy Wick: Well I will assist you every step of the way. I will never leave your side!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I would prefer to do it alone.

Angela Montenegro: I honestly didn't think it would be murder.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Which makes your conclusion all the more credible.
Angela Montenegro: Only you would find that comforting.

---

"Bones: The Girl in Suite 2103 (#2.6)" (2006)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [refusing to watch what she says in front of a State Department rep who happens to be a little person, to Booth who *is* watching what he says] Even you don't want to say anything that will hurt his tiny feelings!

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Debris embedded in the remains suggests an explosion.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: So does that giant hole in the wall.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What will happen to Hodgins if the State Department finds out?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Know what? Better they *don't* find out!

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Shouldn't we do something?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [scoffs] Are you kidding? Hodgins being abducted by men in black, that's a dream come true.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: What? The bomber was a female?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: The sciatic notch doesn't lie!
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Neither does the vagina.

---

"Bones: The Pain in the Heart (#3.15)" (2008)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Would you like a towel?

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You think I don't recognize an experiment when I see one? You experimented on us!
Dr. Lance Sweets: Beg you pardon?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Not telling me Booth was alive, you wanted to quantify our reactions for your research. You took advantage of us. Booth and I agreed to let you observe us. We did not agree to be used as lab rats. So you *better* cut it out!
Dr. Lance Sweets: Dr. Brennan why are you talking so fast?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Because if Booth hears why you did what you did, he'd beat you up.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Don't you think that would be an overly aggressive act?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Not at all. So you better not do it again!

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [to her Grad students] If anyone else shows up here indicating an interest in what you're doing, either tell Ms. Montenegro or shout for Security.
Grad Student #2: Why?
Caroline Julian: Because serial killers get *mean* when you get close to catching 'em.

Caroline Julian: [Looking at some remains in Limbo] This is just creepy.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well it's the natural order of things. We all end up this way.
Caroline Julian: Thank you, cherie. Now you've made it creepy and depressing.

Grad Student #3: [Hoping to impress Dr. Brennan] I'm third in my class.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'd like the names of the first and second.

---

"Bones: Two Bodies in the Lab (#1.15)" (2006)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Ask them to save the excrement for Hodgins.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Did they gather all the evidence from the explosion?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You sure?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes. Booth, I was there. They were very thorough, and I was very annoying.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Sorry, Booth. It should be me lying in that bed.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'm fine. You know, I... I don't even know if... if I have to stay here, you know?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You got blown up.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I've been worse.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You have burns, lacerations, two broken ribs, greenstick fracture of the clavicle...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Okay, I got blown up.
[pathetically]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Can you hand me one of the puddings?

David Simmons: Okay. I'm sorry. Did I miss something? 'Cause I don't want to get in the way, or between...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What? Uh, no.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: God.
David Simmons: Well, then, maybe we could reschedule dinner?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Sure.
David Simmons: Great.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know, I think someone needs this room. Let's go.
[Booth shoves David from the room and places himself between David and Brennan]
David Simmons: Uh, yeah. Sure. Well, I'll email you. Stay safe.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: She will stay safe.
[David leaves and Booth puts himself in the doorway of the room. Bones is leaning around him, trying to watch David as he leaves]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: He's nice. Don't you think?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, he's nice... as a suspect!
[notices Bones staring after David]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What?
[waves his hand in front of her face]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hello?
[he moves in the door frame to block her view]

Angela Montenegro: So, how do you like David? It's not often you can interrogate a guy on a first date.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I like him. Booth still doesn't approve but I told him to mind his own business.
Angela Montenegro: Booth is a big, strong, hot guy who wants to save your life. I mean, you actually have a knight in shining FBI standard-issue body armor, so cut him some slack.

---

"Bones: The Foot in the Foreclosure (#5.8)" (2009)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hey, if he wants to be with me now. It's cool.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, what if he wants to make it permanent.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It's family, Bones. Okay? Nothing, trumps family. Remember that Bones.

Hank: I like her. She's real. She's got balls.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, ovaries actually.
Hank: All right, you got a pair of steel ovaries.

Hank: Always so proper. Will you loosen up?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: He's quite skittish when the subject of sex comes up.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No I'm not.
Hank: Maybe I didn't give him enough information when he was a kid.

Hank: Well if I was a better man, maybe I - I could've figured something else out. But when I saw my son hitting Seely, beating that little kid. That was it! I said "Get out. You don't deserve to be a father. Get out!" He never came back. So I-I was left with this - with the two boys.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You're a good man, Hank.
Hank: I didn't know what else to do. He was beating my grandson... Look, when the time is right, you'll tell him. And if, uh, if he needs it, you'll hold him, okay?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Okay.

Hank: He's big and strong. But he's gonna need someone. Everyone needs someone. Don't be scared.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Scared of what? I'm not scared of anything.
Hank: It all goes by so fast You don't want any regrets.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I don't understand.
Hank: Yes, you do.

---

"Bones: The Truth in the Lye (#2.5)" (2006)

Dr. Temperance Brennan: It's nothing to be ashamed of, Booth. Humans act upon a hierarchy of needs, and sex is very highly ranked. It's an anthropological inevitability.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Thank you, Bones. I really appreciate you boiling me down to your anthropological inevitabilities.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Sure.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Anytime.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Man, what I would've given to be a fly on the wall when you told those wives...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You would've been swatted, trust me.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Are you sure this is the best time to tell them?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: After two days of nagging me, now you're getting cold feet?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I do not nag!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, you know it's an anthropological inevitability for a woman to gossip and nag.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: So now we're talking about a faked homicide to cover up a faked suicide?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: A faked suicide meant to cover up an *actual, original* murder.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Now, just when you think things couldn't get *any* more twisted-
Dr. Camille Saroyan: [enters] How's *this* for a curveball?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: In walks Cam.

Zack Addy: [holding a pitchfork to sift remains out of a tub of lye] And, I know you requested a strainer of some sort, Dr. Brennan, but I thought this would be of some use.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: For the big pieces maybe.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: After that, Old McZacky, get on the horn with the coroner's office and tell them I want two field unit water sifters sent here ASAP.
Zack Addy: They get mad went I drop your name.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Then drop it twice.

---

"Bones: A Boy in a Bush (#1.5)" (2005)

Dr. Daniel Goodman: That is not a tuxedo, Dr. Hodgins.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I am not going, Dr. Goodman.
Dr. Daniel Goodman: You are going.
[places name tag in Dr. Hodgins' pocket]
Dr. Daniel Goodman: When we arrive, the donors will all be wearing name tags.
Zack Addy: What do we talk about?
Dr. Daniel Goodman: Your work, of course.
Angela Montenegro: Zack's work consists of removing flesh from corpses. Hodgins dissects bugs that have been eating people's eyeballs.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Leave me out of it - I am not going.
Dr. Daniel Goodman: And how do you see your job?
Angela Montenegro: [sighs] I draw death masks.
Dr. Daniel Goodman: Is that really how you see it?
Angela Montenegro: Don't you?
Dr. Daniel Goodman: You are the best of us, Miss Montenegro. You discern humanity in the wreck of a ruined human body. You give victims back their faces, their identities. You remind us all of why we're here in the first place - because we treasure human life.
[Angela hugs Dr. Goodman]
Dr. Daniel Goodman: Oh, for God's sake.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: What happened?
Zack Addy: Apparently all Angela needed was to hear her job description in a deep African-American tone.

Angela Montenegro: I wouldn't bet a date with Colin Farrell on it.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I know him. He's funny.
Angela Montenegro: That's Will Ferrell, sweetie. Colin Farrell is hot.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Where were you taking Charlie, Shawn?
Shawn Cook: [Shawn moving water on the table with his finger] I brought him to the mall to see David.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I know you brought him to the mall but we got a picture of you leading him out of the mall.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [in the observation room, watching Booth interrogate Shawn] Have you seen much of this kind of thing?
Sara Johnston: I'm a juvenile prosecutor. I wish I could say kids killing kids was rare.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Where were you taking him, Shawn?
Shawn Cook: When can I talk to Margaret?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: After you answer my questions.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Can he do that, lie to the kid?
Sara Johnston: We are after a child killer, Dr. Brennan. If the child advocate doesn't complain, I sure as hell won't.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What's the point of having a child advocate if he doesn't advocate for the child?
Sara Johnston: I get the impression you're a little confused to what side you're on, Dr. Brennan.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Shawn, do you know what this is?
Shawn Cook: A scar?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah. I got it when I was playing soldier with my brother Jared.
Shawn Cook: Did it hurt?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, it hurt, but it was an accident. You got any scars?
Shawn Cook: [rolls down a sleeve to reveal circular scars] My dad did it with a cigarette.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: He shouldn't have done that.
Shawn Cook: Margaret didn't do anything like that. I love Margaret.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What I need to know is if Charlie had some kind of accident, Shawn?
Sara Johnston: [Shawn turns his back to Booth] He's not being aggressive enough.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Foster kids are powerless, they're treated like garbage! You're in a position to do something about it and all you have to say is "He's not being aggressive enough"?
Sara Johnston: Dr. Brennan, you know this boy may very well have beaten a child to death with a rock.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Do you remember me Shawn?
Shawn Cook: The museum lady, the one who's so smart.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Yeah, I'm pretty smart. Smart enough to know that you didn't kill Charlie. You don't have to say anything Shawn, just listen. They give you a garbage bag to carry all your stuff, like they're telling you that everything you own is garbage, and then you have to go to a new school in clothes that smell like garbage bags.
Shawn Cook: All the regular kids know you're a foster kid. How do you know what it's like?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: They bounce you from place to place and it's never home. Some times the foster parents are nice.
Shawn Cook: Like Margaret?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Yeah, and sometimes they separate you from your brother. Must have been nice with Margaret, staying with David.
Shawn Cook: [crying] We got bunk beds. At night I knew David was there, like he was guarding me. Margaret's nice.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: You'd do almost anything to stay with Margaret, right?
[he nods]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: The man you took Charlie to, the man who hurt him, he knows that. You didn't know that he'd hurt Charlie but he did, and then he told you that Margaret would blame you, that she'd hate you. But this man is lying to you, Shawn. I can make sure that you go back to Margaret.
Shawn Cook: How? You work at a museum.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I have a friend at the FBI, if I ask him to, he'll make sure that you and David get to live with Margaret again. You have to tell me who hurt Charlie.
Shawn Cook: What if Margaret doesn't want me anymore? Charlie was her real son.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Charlie wasn't her biological son either. Charlie was just like you. Someone that Margaret chose to love. I don't think we should let that man take you and David and Charlie away from Margaret, do you?
[Shawn shakes his head 'no']
Dr. Temperance Brennan: We should stop him. You and I should stop him.
[he cries and hugs her, she hugs him too and rubs his back to comfort him]
Shawn Cook: [whispers a name in her ear]

---

"Bones: The Girl with the Curl (#2.7)" (2006)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Trying to idenify a person who has one leg that is longer than the other - thus tilting her hips] Try and get a shot of her buttocks, and freeze it.

Angela Montenegro: Childhood should be all about swings.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Swings?
Angela Montenegro: You know how high can I go, if I twist the chains how fast will I spin.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Or if I try and jump off before the swing stops.
Angela Montenegro: Exactly.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I miss that feeling.
Angela Montenegro: Yeah me too.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I miss organic chemistry class, those were good times.
Zack Addy: I miss my first microscope.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Great, yeah and I miss normal people can we go on?

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Why don't you go mingle.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Why?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Because you're a girl

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Ok, c'mon Bones up you go.
Girl: Wow, you have huge muscles!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Thanks,
[leans toward Bones]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Learn anything?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Yeah, I learned about cankles, how about you?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I found a possible suspect.

---

"Bones: The Beaver in the Otter (#4.23)" (2009)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Tell you what, Bones, you know when I was in college, my frat. We stole a cadaver, dressed it like Caesar, put it on statue of a horse.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Would this, by any chance, be a fraternity of sociopaths?

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I think you'll find your missing Medical School Cadaver over there.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Where?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Sitting in the bleachers. He hasn't moved since we got here.
Sheriff Tina Mullins: No. That's just campus security. They're always like that. But I'll go check it out.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: If you go with him, then he won't be alone. You won't let him be bad. And his frontal lobe will always be the size of a raisin. That's what you said. Makes no scientific sense.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, I said that. Got it.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I have to admit, I'm impressed that you picked her out of a crowd. How did you do it?
Dr. Lance Sweets: You're not going to believe me anyway. Just going to say I guessed. So have it your way, I guessed.
[Sweets starts to leave]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No. I don't think you're serious. I'd like to know what you saw.
[the door closes]

---

"Bones: The Man in the Wall (#1.6)" (2005)

Dr. Temperance Brennan: How does my costume look?
Angela Montenegro: Sweetie, that's not a costume, that's an outfit, and you look hot!

Angela Montenegro: TGIF. Ever hear of that?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Some kind of acronym?

Dr. Temperance Brennan: You never dance?
Zack Addy: I'm told I look like a marionette in a windstorm.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: How many times do you want me to poke Zack?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Just once, but as hard as you can.
Zack Addy: As hard as he *can*? Why don't I hit him as hard as *I* can?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Because you have arms like noodles, while I'm vigorous and burly.
[pokes Zack with the cane]
Zack Addy: That all you got, burly boy?

---

"Bones: The Woman in the Tunnel (#1.16)" (2006)

Dr. Temperance Brennan: You're nervous.
Angela Montenegro: I'm not nervous, I'm scared. I don't know how to talk to crazy people unless I'm dating them.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, give me your gun. Take the restraints out of my belt and put 'em on Kyle.
[Bones puts her gun in Booth's pants pocket]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That's not cocked, is it? Because where that's pointed...
Dr. Temperance Brennan: You're safe.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: She knew about this treasure. She was going to put it in her documentary. It would have cost you guys a fortune. So one of you killed her. Who's left-handed?
[starts walking towards Kyle]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, you know it's best to have this sort of explanation after the bad guys are incapacitated.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [turns to Booth] Why?
Kyle Montrose: [shoves Bones, grabs a candlestick and attacks Duke] You killed her for this?
[Bones knocks Kyle out]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That's why.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Yeah. Well, I'll try to remember that for next time.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Every society has its bottom-dwellers, and every society fears its bottom-dwellers, because they are a symbol of what happens in that society if you fail.

---

"Bones: The Man in the Mansion (#2.14)" (2007)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I slept with Sully last night.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I thought you already...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No. Last night.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, well, it's really none of my business.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Except that we're partners.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, there's that.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: And you told me about your socks.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, sex, socks, they're pretty much the same word.

Caroline Julian: I already got no proof how the victim got hold of that heroin. Now you're saying I can't put Hodgins on the stand? Why?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You don't wanna know the answer to that.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why doesn't she wanna know?
Caroline Julian: As the prosecutor in this case, I'm obliged to share everything I know with the defense.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Just because Clarissa Bancroft and I...
Caroline Julian: Whoa! Goodnight!

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Good job, Hodgins.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No, not 'good job, Hodgins'! He might've blown the whole case!
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I told him it is *not* a problem.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What happened?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Look, I don't care what he does on his time off. But when he screws around with evidence to get in the pants of an old girlfriend on one of *my* murder cases, that's a *problem!*

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Wow- those socks! Those are amazing.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That's right. The socks, the tie, the belt buckle- all escape valves from my socioeconomic rage.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I hate psychology.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, you know, they help meal with the day to day irritations of dealing with people that are more privileged.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I slept with Sully last night.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, I thought you already, uh...
Dr. Temperance Brennan: No. Last night.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh. It's really none of my business.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Except, we're partners.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, there's that.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: And you told me about your socks.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Sex, socks- pretty much the same word.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Do we have a case or are you just visiting?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah! It's messy. Better get some protection.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Let me get my gum boots.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [to himself] Yeah. I'm gonna need a flashier tie.

---

"Bones: The Priest in the Churchyard (#2.17)" (2007)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'm not working a whole case with you attacking my beliefs. You should have just saddled up with your boyfriend.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Your beliefs are of an invisible man who wants to run my personal life.
Zack Addy: Death would have followed quickly caused by cranial cerebral trauma.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: By the way, 90% of the world believes in God!
Dr. Temperance Brennan: And at one time, most people were certain that the sun revolved around the earth.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [to Dr. Addy] You see, I don't think this is about religion at all.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [to Bones] We obviously have issues that are affecting our working relationship, and you're afraid to deal with them, so you just lash out at my religion!
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Can't you just be satisfied that if I'm wrong about God that I'll burn in hell?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Ooh, that's tempting.

Dr. Gordon Wyatt: You're both afraid that the reason Dr. Brennan didn't sail off into the sunset with her boyfriend Sully might have been her ties to Agent Booth.
[pause]
Dr. Gordon Wyatt: You're *both* quite wrong.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [to Wyatt] Why didn't I go with Sully?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: How is he supposed to know?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [to Booth] Sully is perfect. We communicated well. The sex was incredible. He invited me to sail around the South Seas in a beautiful yacht for a year. I mean why would anyone turn that down?
Dr. Gordon Wyatt: In my opinion, you are unable to lead a purposeless life at this stage in your psycho-social development. Which, by the way, you should address because a certain amount of purposelessness is necessary to lead a full life.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I hate psychology.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You don't like it because he's saying that all this tension between me and you is *your* fault.
Dr. Gordon Wyatt: Mmm, on the contrary, if anything your issues are more pronounced. Given that your behavior has been affected by what turns out to be a quite irrational fear of being responsible for somone else's destiny.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: [referring the chalice] Can we take this with us or do we need to serve a warrant on God?

Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'm not working a whole case with you attacking my beliefs. You should have just saddled up with your boyfriend.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Your beliefs are of an invisible man who wants to run my personal life.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Death would have followed quickly caused by cranial cerebral trauma.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: By the way, 90% of the world believes in God!
Dr. Temperance Brennan: And at one time, most people were certain that the sun revolved around the earth.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [to Dr. Addy] You see, I don't think this is about religion at all.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [to Bones] We obviously have issues that are affecting our working relationship, and you're afraid to deal with them, so you just lash out at my religion!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Can't you just be satisfied that if I'm wrong about God that I'll burn in hell?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Ooh, that's tempting.

---

"Bones: The Goop on the Girl (#5.10)" (2009)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I have to remove your pants.
[Starts removing Booth's pants]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: All right. You know, I'm just going to start reciting some saints. Saint Joseph, Saint Peter, Saint Paul, Saint John...
Dr. Camille Saroyan: [Cam enters. Long pause] Anyone for mistletoe?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I-I'm just recovering evidence.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Just evidence, that's all.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Interesting.

Owen Thiel: You're a flunky of a corrupt regime. It's my *duty* to resist you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I should warn you, he-he's very hard to resist.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Thanks Bones.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Sure.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: My dad brought my second cousin and... I really didn't like her.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That makes sense.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well because she's family. I mean 90% of the time, family just gets under your skin. That's the difference between family and friends.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh wow! Who's this, your sister?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No. Um, my second cousin.
Margaret Whitesell: I'm Margaret.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: There's no resemblance.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What do you mean? You're both beautiful.

---

"Bones: The Plain in the Prodigy (#5.3)" (2009)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [from trailer] This is *not* in the proper spirit of rumspringa!

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Hey, you're wearing your belt buckle again. "Cocky."
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah. Ever since the whole coma thing. I just kept staring at it, thinking to myself "Why would I wear something like this?"
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Because you love it. You always have
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, that's what I landed on.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I like it. It's - Boothy.

Joseph Beachy: That's kind of what Rumspringa's for, right? Cut loose, go a little crazy.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Get busted for smoking weed.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's supposed to be a time to contemplate your future faith.
Joseph Beachy: Yeah, I was seeing how in the future, I wouldn't want to smoke weed.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hey Bones, um, you've met perry. Michelle's boyfriend.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes. Nice to see you again. I heard about Princeton, you have very bright future ahead of you.
Perry Wilson: I hope so.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Me too. Have fun tonight, huh?

---

"Bones: Judas on a Pole (#2.11)" (2006)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [talking about Russ] I still make him nervous, don't I?
[pulls Bones out of her chair by the arm]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Come on, let's go.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: What... why do I always feel like you're abducting me?
[hits Booth playfully on the arm]

Dr. Temperance Brennan: I wish you wouldn't keep letting me hug you when I get scared.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hey, when I get scared, I'll hug *you*. We'll call it even.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know what? I'm sorry that you had to go through it again. Watching your family drive off, you know. Leave you behind. I'm sorry.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: My father is - is...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: He's your dad. And he loves you.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: You know I'm just -I'm just one of those people who doesn't get to be in a family. That's...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Listen, Bones. Hey, there's more than one kind of family.

---

"Bones: The Girl in the Gator (#2.13)" (2007)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [to Booth, after he shot the clown head on the truck] That... was not good.

[Brennan is in Florida talking on the phone to Booth, who is in Washington]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I thought you said you'd be down on the next flight.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I haven't met with the shrink yet.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What shrink?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, the department psychiatrist has to sign a piece of paper saying, you know, that I am not nuts, before I get my gun back, so I got an appointment tomorrow.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Great. Now I have to break in this Agent Sullivan?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Sully's a great guy, okay. And for your information, you never broke *me* in.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Judy's stab wound was probably from a bolt of some kind right through
[she approaches Sullivan]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: here.
[She touches an area on his back]
Special Agent Tim Sullivan: So, just inside her scapula?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Yes... most laymen refer to it as a shoulder blade.
Special Agent Tim Sullivan: Well, I told you I went to college. I minored in kinesiology. Although, this is the first time I've used it to impress a lady.

---

"Bones: The Bone That Blew (#4.10)" (2008)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Whose sperm hit whose egg shouldn't determine who works here!

Special Agent Seeley Booth: So I thought he was strangled.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: He was strangled, shot and set on fire.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Someone wanted to make sure he didn't get home.

Dr. Lance Sweets: Can I ask you what's really going on between you?
Max Keenan: Tempe doesn't want me working at the Jeffersonian.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Why?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's a conflict of interest, we catch criminals, my dad is a criminal.
Dr. Lance Sweets: That would be valid...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Thank you.
Dr. Lance Sweets: If it were your *real* reason. But it's not.

---

"Bones: The Man in the Cell (#2.12)" (2007)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yeah it's pretty big, right. Bigger than the one you have.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Excuse me, it's not the size that matters. It's how you *use* it.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well I think size is pretty important.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: The point is you shouldn't have a gun in the first place.
Angela Montenegro: If you do have one, bigger is always better.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [pointing her weapon at Epps as Booth arrives] You won't let me shoot him, will you?

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [after Bones pulls out her gun] You know, I could have the Bureau pull your license.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yeah, and I could assign Zack as your forensic Anthropologist.

---

"Bones: The Woman in the Sand (#2.8)" (2006)

Dr. Temperance Brennan: What do you think?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I have enough bibles, thank you, but try next door.

[Booth and Bones are undercover watching an illegal fight club]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It's human cock-fighting.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: More like lesser surrogates engaged in battles on behalf of the elite lords who don't have the courage to fight themselves.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Right. You know what?
[clicks his fingers]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Come back to me, Roxie, huh?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Ooo, look at all the sweat!

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Oh my god! I completely forgot you can't be here, Booth. You're a degenerate gambler.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Former gambler, okay? Not degenerate. I've been through the program, okay? And you know, he's on the move!
Dr. Temperance Brennan: What if you get a sudden urge to gamble while you're here? It's like sending an alcoholic to a distillery. Do you need to sit down?

---

"Bones: The Woman at the Airport (#1.10)" (2006)

Dr. Temperance Brennan: X-rays, pictures, we're going to do this without touching the actual skeleton as much as possible.
Zack Addy: Kid gloves?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Latex should be all right.
[pauses, considers]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Zack, were you being metaphoric?
Zack Addy: I decided to give it a shot - which was also metaphoric.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: You know, I'd like to drive sometimes.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [changing the subject] Look, our contact out here is Special Agent Tricia Finn.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I'm an excellent driver.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: OK, Rain Man.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I don't know what that means.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Every culture nurtures ideals of beauty toward which people strive - fine! But in the future people'll look back upon the surgical alterations of the nose or breasts or buttocks with the same horror that we regard the binding of feet or the use of bronze coils to extend the neck.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You wanna speak up? 'Cause it's really hard to hear every word in this very, very quiet waiting room.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: It's barbaric! It's painful! It's wrong! This murder victim may never be identified because some glorified barber with a medical degree has the arrogance to think that he could do better than a millennium of evolution.

---

"Bones: The Secret in the Soil (#3.4)" (2007)

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Has it occurred to either of you that this might be another victim in the Widow's Son case?
Dr. Zack Addy: Based on what?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Because the victim was cooked, like entree, same as that guy in Germany.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: There's no evidence here to suggest cannibalism, no bite marks...
Dr. Jack Hodgins: No condiments...

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Look at all the cars. I thought the VA hospital was closed?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, it is, Bones, but I mean, c'mon. It's the weekend, alright? An abandoned building surrounded by acres of secluded land, huh? Use your imagination.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [looks confused]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Teenagers, hormones...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You're saying they came here to fornicate.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That's... nice image. Very, uh, biblical.

Dr. Lance Sweets: Let's talk about conflict. When you guys argue, how do you come to a resolution?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: We don't argue.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Come on! Remember?
[indicates his office]
Dr. Lance Sweets: Zone of truth. Right here.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Fine. We might... bicker a little bit, but that's not arguing.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Bicker? I don't bicker!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No? What about the whole environmentalism thing?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That was a discussion.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You pretty much told me my penis was gonna shrink if I didn't eat organic food.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That's not bickering. That's being a good friend.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: My penis is just fine, thank you.

---

"Bones: The Skull in the Desert (#1.17)" (2006)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Okay, no offense to Angela, but she doesn't really know this guy. She's only with him, what? Only three weeks out of the year?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yeah, no offense to you, but you are a stodgy traditionalist when it comes to relationships, buddy.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Stodgy? Stodgy?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yeah, stodgy.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Obviously you subconsciously sifted through the rational facts of the case and processed the most likely scenario.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'm sure that's it.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, what else could it be?
Angela Montenegro: It's the only rational explanation.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Wait, are you guys making fun of me?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Let's go back home. You know, where there's water and shelter and living things? Come on.

[Brennan calls Booth on his cell phone]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: How far are you from Dulles?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: As far as your office is from Dulles.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why are you in my office?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I need your findings on the Richmond case. Listen, Zack won't tell me where they are unless you give him permission.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: There's a 9:15 flight to Denver, then there's an 11:35 flight to Santa Fe. You have to run to make the connection.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Forget it.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth, please. Angela's boyfriend is missing... maybe dead. It took all of my charm...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: All of your charm? Oh boy...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: ...just to get the sheriff to let me look at the skull. When I asked him to let me send the skull to the Jeffersonian, he told me I am not a cop and I don't have any jurisdiction.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Which is true. Okay, look, what do you want me to do?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I want you to get Federal on his ass.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [smiles smugly and proudly] Oh!

---

"Bones: The Graft in the Girl (#1.20)" (2006)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Today, Zac. I need something *today*!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Hey, don't harass my assistant.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: That's right. That's our job.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: So, is it him?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's him, but here's the kickster.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Kicker, Bones, here's the kicker.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Oh.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [referencing Zack] How do you listen to this all day?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I find intelligence soothing.

---

"Bones: The Man on Death Row (#1.7)" (2005)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Reason for wanting a gun?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: To shoot people.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Not a good response.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: I'll ask the others, but they might have plans.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It's Friday night and they're racing beetles.

[after Bones attacks Howard Epps]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Are you gonna arrest me for assault?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: From what I saw, purely self-defense.

---

"Bones: The Titan on the Track (#2.1)" (2006)

Lisa Supac: [after advising Dr. Brennan and the rest of the team the Turko will only get 10 years for his involvement in the train crash] It's 10 years or nothing. I can only work with what I'm given, and the forensic work on this was not good enough.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: What?
Lisa Supac: You were fooled by fake dental records, you baked some spam.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: What did you want us to do?
Lisa Supac: Your jobs.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hey!
Dr. Camille Saroyan: No, Ms. Supek, you want us to do your job. My people gave you all the evidence you need to fry Turko with any reasonable jury.
Lisa Supac: Forensically...
Dr. Camille Saroyan: We gave you everything you needed to arrest Turko.
Lisa Supac: Arrest is not a conviction.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: We definitely gave you enough to reject his plea bargain and indict him in the wrongful death of a Senator.
Lisa Supac: Indictment is not a conviction.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You accept that plea bargain and the investigation stops.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Indict him. Give us time to get you what you need.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: If you accept this plea bargain, you don't deserve to be a Federal Prosecutor.
Lisa Supac: Dr. Saroyan!
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Yeah, it's scary. The whole country'll be watching the trial and you don't want to go in with less than a sure thing. But you put my people on the stand as expert witnesses and that's a sure thing.
Dr. Temperance Brennan, Dr. Jack Hodgins, Angela Montenegro: [together] Not Zack.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: You can tell the story of what happened using the evidence these people provided, and if you any ability as a prosecutor you'll win the case.
Lisa Supac: Are you finished?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: No, Ms. Supeck. In the future when you have problems with my team, you'll register them with me, in private, not by grand standing in a public forum.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Come on, Booth. The part of you with the big gambling problem must love this idea.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Right there. Mm-hm. That's the reason you didn't get Cam's job.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Been out to your mother's grave?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: No. Why would I?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: To connect.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: She's dead, Booth. Dead, as in 'gone from this world'.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know what? Fine. Forget it.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Excuse me. I'm curious. Do you talk to the headstone? I mean, what do you say?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It looks like I'm talking to the headstone, but what I'm really saying is--Forget where the words are directed. What I say is that I remember them.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: They can't hear you, because they're dead.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: My mouth moves, words come out, but none seem to get across the drawbridge to the princess I know who awaits within.

---

"Bones: The He in the She (#4.6)" (2008)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Have you made many of these "ain't-too-proud-to-beg" calls in the past?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What do you say we just stay focused here?

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Would you like me just as much if I were a man?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh yeah, much better. Wouldn't have to be so polite and accommodating. How about you, would you like me better if I were a woman?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No. I would not.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Why?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'd be jealous that you might be prettier than I am.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I would be too. I'd be hot. Smokin' hot.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: I'm a genius and I'm confused.

---

"Bones: The Man with the Bone (#1.18)" (2006)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Walking along a hallway leading to the morgue] Welcome to the dungeon.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why the FBI always stick their morgues in the most depressing basement they can find?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Don't be such a snob Bones, ok? Not everyone gets to play in a multimillion dollar lab, you know... with skylights.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's because as a society we feel the need to hide death away. The people who deal with the death are viewed as freaks.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Looking at the bones of an allegedly pirate on the computer screen] Maybe they're right. Maybe this man died buring a treasure. Ironic. Stealing all that and never enjoying the spoils.
Angela Montenegro: So you believe there's treasure?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I believe there's greed. That's the real curse.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Are Rangers afraid of SEALs?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What? Come on, Bones. No.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Rangers aren't afraid of anybody. All right?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: SEALs are pretty good though.

---

"Bones: Stargazer in a Puddle (#2.21)" (2007)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [after Bones has made last minute touch-ups for the wedding] Wow! You look great!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You said I looked good before!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [pause] Whose day is it, huh? It's Angela's. C'mon, let's go.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: I would like to marry you.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Kind of sudden, Bones. Let me think about that.

---

"Bones: The Dwarf in the Dirt (#5.7)" (2009)

Gidget Jones: What can I say? Got a thing for bad boys?
[to Bones]
Gidget Jones: Don't you?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No. I prefer good boys.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Quietly] Really?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Quietly] Yes.

Dr. Gordon Wyatt: [Speaking of Booth] Sometimes you have to help people against their wishes.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I can't think of anything I wouldn't do to help him.

---

"Bones: The Woman in Limbo (#1.22)" (2006)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: The NCIC database? That's... that's criminals! My parents were on a list of federal offenders?
Russ Brennan: How do you like that? Guess a criminal nature runs in the family.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [holding up a picture of her brother] You were seven years old, Russ. Old enough to remember. What... what is your real name? What is *my* real name?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, it's right here in the file.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [turning to Booth] No! *No!* I want *him* to tell me!
[exhales, and faces Russ]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What is my real name, Russ?
Russ Brennan: [long pause] My name was Kyle. Your name was Joy.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: *You* are not my brother!
[slaps Russ]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No! He lied about that! What else are you lying about? What else are you not telling us?
[angrily walks off]

Russ Brennan: I call... every year... on your birthday. You never pick up.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Take a hint.

---

"Bones: The Man in the Fallout Shelter (#1.9)" (2005)

Dr. Temperance Brennan: You have a son?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: You've never mentioned that.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, nothing brings people together like a Christmas lung fungus.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, right... right... you can't measure the man in the beaker so he can't possibly exist.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: The man upstairs?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hm. You know, you don't know if you're sick, but you're more than willing to take drugs just in case. Seems to me you should give the man upstairs the same benefit of the doubt that you do an invisible fungus.

---

"Bones: The Glowing Bones in 'The Old Stone House' (#2.20)" (2007)

Dr. Zack Addy: What am I always the murder victim?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Sit!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [chuckles] Zack's always the murder victim.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [as Zack and Hodgins are enacting a scenario] Oh, okay, look, we know that Ben had sex with Carly in the backseat of that car. But you didn't find any evidence of rape.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: So the sex they had was consensual.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [rising up from his chair] *This* part will be left up to the imagination.

---

"Bones: The Widow's Son in the Windshield (#3.1)" (2007)

Dr. Temperance Brennan: There's a phrase in ancient Greek burned into the back of the vault door.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, what's it say?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I don't know, it's in ancient Greek.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: How do I say this in a way that makes sense to Booth?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Something chewed on the skull.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, like a bear or a dog?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Human, Booth. Dr. Brennan is saying human.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: In the vernacular, our victim's face was chewed off by a cannibal.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [throws away the rest of his hot dog] Okay.

---

"Bones: Mummy in the Maze (#3.5)" (2007)

FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, listen. You stay here. Anyone comes through that door, you shoot their heads off. EXCEPT ME!
Dr. Temperance Brennan: My gun is too big for me.
FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: Could've told you that a hundred times. Here, take mine.
[they exchange weapons]
FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: Guard Megan.

[Bones has dressed as Wonder Woman for a Halloween party]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: What are you supposed to be?
FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: [dressed in a tweed suit and horn-rimmed glasses] I'm a nerd squint.

---

"Bones: The Headless Witch in the Woods (#2.10)" (2006)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Zack, place some garlic around the remains and chant the Hmong ritual for the preservation of souls.
Zack Addy: Really?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: This is going to be a long case.

[Booth has arrested Will, he joins Brennan in her office]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I sure know how to pick 'em, don't I?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, you know, our perceptions are always colored by what we hope, what we fear, what we love. We do the best we can.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'm afraid my best isn't good enough. I can read bones, not people.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, you know, you had no trouble seeing through me.
[smiles at her and she smiles back]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's a good thing I like being alone.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know what, Bones? You're not alone. Okay?
[Brennan has turned her back to Booth, he touches her on the shoulder to turn her around, she hesitates, then turns to him]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You're my partner, ok? It's a guy hug. Take it.
[they embrace tightly, Booth smiles thoughtfully and Brennan looks relieved, happy and safe]

---

"Bones: Soccer Mom in the Mini-Van (#3.2)" (2007)

Special Agent Sam Reilly: You know, Booth, she must be really good in bed because I can't see any other reason you keep her around here.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I am. Very good. But Booth has no direct knowledge of that fact.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: He's irrational, probably male menopause.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What? He's a good man and you know what there's no such thing. That is a sexist myth.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Factually hormone production drops in your fifties, sexual desire decreases, you have to deal with the reduction of muscle mass, erectile dysfunction...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Booth interrupts] Hey, let's just keep the conversation up, shall we?
[points his index finger up]
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: And there's evidence that certain men become very unstable.

---

"Bones: Boy in the Time Capsule (#3.7)" (2007)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: There was this girl, Karen Isley, and we were under the bleachers one night... personally.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I got it. You were having sex in the dirt under the bleachers.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Excuse me, I'm a gentleman! I brought my sleeping bag.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Did you bring that for me?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Good because that's the wrong Smurf. I liked Smurfette, that's Brainy Smurf.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well Smurfette was a stupid, shallow Smurf who only had her looks. Look, you're better than Smurfette. You have your looks and a whole lot more.

---

"Bones: The Soldier on the Grave (#1.21)" (2006)

Angela Montenegro: You have to think before you speak.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Why? I can say anything to you without thinking about it first.
Angela Montenegro: Yeah, men aren't like us. They're much more fragile and needy. The fact that they think we're the needy ones is a testament to our superiority.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Yeah. I guess I forgot.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Why do you have to be so cynical?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I'm not cynical. It's a necessary part of the psychology of warfare - heroes and villains. Without clear distinctions like that, we'd never be able to fight.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, well, I always found being shot at is a motivating factor.

---

"Bones: The Superhero in the Alley (#1.12)" (2006)

Zack Addy: [about the victim] Epiphyseal union with the diaphysis on the wrists, knees and ankles suggests the was between 14 and 18 years old. 1.6 meters tall, a very slight build suggesting that he was at the younger end of the scale.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: That tracks with the bag. The degraded cellulose we found is a graphic novel.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: A what?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It's a comic book.
Zack Addy: I never read comic books.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Really? Oh, I had you pegged for a graphic novel nut.
Zack Addy: The face and cranial vault are badly fractured. Blows to the parietal have sent radiating fracture lines between the mid-frontal and anterior temple buttresses.
[to Hodgins]
Zack Addy: Why?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Star Wars, Star Trek, Stargate, Battlestar Galactica...

---

"Bones: Bodies in the Book (#2.15)" (2007)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: So our suspects agreed to kill for each other, so they'd each have an alibi?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: So all I need from you people is some proof, okay?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Oh, oh, is - is *that* all?

---

"Bones: The Knight on the Grid (#3.8)" (2007)

Dr. Temperance Brennan: If we fool them into thinking we're transferring the sculpture, they might try to grab it.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: No, if he wants it as much as Sweets says, they'll try to steal it.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Why not?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Because I didn't think of it.

---

"Bones: Yanks in the U.K. (#4.1)" (2008)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: But there wasnt any evidence of VHL in either the mothers medicalrecords or the autopsyreport.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: But its herittary so her father must have it.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Roger Frampton worked for the NHL?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: He may have VHLdisease.

---

"Bones: Intern in the Incinerator (#3.6)" (2007)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: And I'm changing my password.
[covers screen with one hand and starts entering a new password]
FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: Daisy?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: How did you know?
FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: It's your second favorite flower. I know you, Bones. Try a planet.
[Booth walks away. Bones starts typing]
FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: JUPITER!
[Bones stops typing]

---

"Bones: The Man on the Fairway (#1.14)" (2006)

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Stop, or I'll kick you in the testicles!

---

"Bones: The Boy in the Shroud (#2.3)" (2006)

Dr. Temperance "Bones" Brennan: [to Carter as he runs away] We're not gonna hurt you.
[knocks him down]
Dr. Temperance "Bones" Brennan: Okay, I hurt you a little bit, but only because you ran.

---

"Bones: The Woman in the Garden (#1.13)" (2006)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Ok. Hodgins, sew it up. You're coming with us. We're going to the barrio.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Field work. Cool! Do I get a gun?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: You can't arm Hodgins and not me!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What is it with you people and the guns, huh?

---

"Bones: The Man in the Mud (#3.10)" (2008)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [about her relationship with Booth] We're not blue fish.

---

"Bones: The Finger in the Nest (#4.3)" (2008)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Bones and Booth are burying a dog, Ripley] Thought you'd want to say something.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Well, I feel that this dog Ripley, paid a price that was unfair.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It's not my fault Bones - why are you talking to me?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Well you're the only one here!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Talk to the universe. Or God. Or Ripley.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I don't believe in God.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, God spelled backwards is dog.

---