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Quotes for
Angela Montenegro (Character)
from "Bones" (2005)

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"Bones: The Man in the SUV (#1.2)" (2005)

Angela Montenegro: [of Booth] I think he likes you. God, if I were you, I'd buy a ticket on that ride.

Angela Montenegro: [about Brennan] She has enough pent-up sexual energy to power a small Midwestern city.

Angela Montenegro: Look I... I know you needed help out there... at the crime scene. And I wanted to... but...
Dr. Temperance Brennan: It's okay. You see it. I don't any more. I don't know what's worse.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: I'd like to get this data to Booth as soon as I can.
DHS Agent Bennett Gibson: [blocks her path and tries to reach for her notes] I'll take it.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: No. I don't think so. I work with *Booth*. That's my deal.
DHS Agent Bennett Gibson: Dr. Brennan, I have jurisdiction.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Then why don't I destroy my notes, and let you guarantee the identity of the remains?
[walks past Gibson. Angela walks up to Gibson]
Angela Montenegro: It's best to just ride it out. Like an earthquake.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: She dyed her hair. She lost weight. You know? She shove a little Botox in the forehead. She's still feeling guilty over the last fight she had with her husband!
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Oh, you are an insufferable arrogant... MAN!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, so only a woman could know a woman? I thought women wanted us to understand them.
Angela Montenegro: [moving closer to them] Not really a magician never *wants* to reveal her tricks.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [turns to Angela] We're having a *private* conversation.
Angela Montenegro: I'm not here.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Angela tells them she talked to Booth's girlfriend] She's *spying* for you?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: No. No!
Zack Addy: If you have nothing in common, it's difficult to sublimate intense sexual attraction.
[Bones glares at Zack]
Zack Addy: And we hear it's been a while.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Okay, stop.
Angela Montenegro: He is *there* for the taking, honey.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Booth arrives] Okay I couldn't get his medical records.
[everyone stops and looks at Booth]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Nothing.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: We're going to have to run a simulation. I need you to input the skull and give me a face.
Angela Montenegro: You got it.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [quietly] And no more talk about Booth. You shouldn't have gotten involved.
Angela Montenegro: That's what friends are for.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Please, Angela.

"Bones: The Doctor in the Den (#4.17)" (2009)

Angela Montenegro: [Identifying the victim] Sad huh? He's handsome. He's hot really.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: All right, that's enough Angela.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [pause everyone looks strangely at Cam] Are you all right Dr. Saroyan?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: ...No. I knew Dr. Weston. We lived together for two years.

Angela Montenegro: OO. What's that smell? Are you wearing cologne?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It's urine. I found traces of uric acid on the victim's clothing.
Angela Montenegro: Oh.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It was the pheremones you found pleasing.
Angela Montenegro: Yeah. The, uh, pheremones in tiger urine.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Well, I assume it's tiger urine. Cat was probably marking its territory.
Angela Montenegro: I was turned on by tiger urine?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Hodgins chuckles] Celibacy isn't easy Ang.

Angela Montenegro: Well there you go. He was playing the field and someone probably nicked him for it.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: How do you know?
Angela Montenegro: Because despite the fact that I would love to have my legs wrapped around one right now, men are awful.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Hodgins enters] Hey.
[the women glare at him]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Whoa. What'd I do?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: You're a man.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Are you aware that lionesses do all the hunting?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes, and the males simply populate and eat what the females catch.
Angela Montenegro: And when they get cranky, they eat the cubs... Men.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Wow. Before I flee for my life, the particles I found in the wounds around the femeral artery, ones I thought were mica, are scales.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Fish?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: No, snake. Can maybe have a species by tomorrow.
Angela Montenegro: Hey wanna stay and have a drink?
[Cam snaps her fingers]
Angela Montenegro: Oh yeah. We hate men.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I'm gonna go now.

Angela Montenegro: [Speaking of Hodgins] He does have a terrific ass.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Perhaps that's why you're always making him leave.

Angela Montenegro: OO. What's that smell? Are you wearing cologne?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It's urine. I found traces of uric acid on the victim's clothing.
Angela Montenegro: Oh.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It was the pheromones you found pleasing.
Angela Montenegro: Yeah. The, uh, pheromones in tiger urine.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Well, I assume it's tiger urine. Cat was probably marking its territory.
Angela Montenegro: I was turned on by tiger urine?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Hodgins chuckles] Celibacy isn't easy Ange.
Angela Montenegro: Tell me about it. Sex is the glue and we were like epoxy.

"Bones: The Verdict in the Story (#3.13)" (2008)

Angela Montenegro: [watching the defense exam evidence] I hate this. I *hate* it!
Dr. Camille Saroyan: What? Strangers on our forensic platform?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Ange doesn't like that we're on different sides.
Angela Montenegro: All of us together, and Brennan alone.

Angela Montenegro: If Brennan understands that we aren't crazily competitive about it, then we'll all come through this with our friendships intact.
Dr. Zack Addy: Besides, Dr. Brennan must realize that we're going to destroy them!
[everyone looks at Zack. Putting his hands on Zack's shoulders]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I will explain "crazily competitive" to Zack over and over again, until he gets it.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [as Angela's being escorted to prison for refusing to testify. Bones rises up] Angela please!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Sit down!
Angela Montenegro: [Angela stops] Sweetie, this is one of those times when I know *I'm* right, and everyone else is *confused*!

Angela Montenegro: Friends don't send friends’ fathers to the electric chair.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Maryland uses lethal injection.
Angela Montenegro: Well the principle still holds.

Angela Montenegro: All of us together, and Brennan alone.
Dr. Zack Addy: She's not alone. She's with those African-American people.

Angela Montenegro: If Brennan understands that we aren't crazily competetive about it, then we'll all come through with our friendships intact
Dr. Zack Addy: Besides, Dr. Brennan must realize that we are going to destroy them.

"Bones: The Killer in the Concrete (#2.18)" (2007)

Dr. Temperance Brennan: [to the Phone] Yes. This is Dr. Brennan at the Jeffersonian. I just received a call from Agent Booth that he's being held at
[motions to Angela for some papers]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: the Purdue Airfield in Oakville, Virginia. Send back up. I'm going in.
[hangs up the receiver]
Angela Montenegro: You just lied your ass off to the Federal Bureau of Investigation.
[Bones ignores the comment and leaves]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: That is so hot.

Angela Montenegro: I can't fight, or shoot a gun. But if something bad happens, I can spit with deadly accuracy.

Angela Montenegro: What can't you tell me?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: By definition, I can't tell you.

Angela Montenegro: All right, you're after a crazy old ice-pick hit man who has Booth. You need help. Look at my face. Do you *really* see me backing down?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I - I already have help, Ange.
Angela Montenegro: From whom?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: From someone worse than Kennedy.
Angela Montenegro: Are you serious?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Don't say it!
Angela Montenegro: Your father is helping you?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I have to go.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Booth is being held by Melvin Gallagher.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: That's a leap. How do you know?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Can we just go with this please?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Of course not.
Angela Montenegro: Obviously, Brennan found out from her father who is a wanted fugitive.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Ange!
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Now that I can go with.

Angela Montenegro: Has anybody noticed that everytime there is a panic situation all eyes turn to Hodgins?

"Bones: The Man in the Morgue (#1.19)" (2006)

Angela Montenegro: Or better still, you could forget the whole thing and come home.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [over the phone] Don't worry. I made bail.
Zack Addy: Bail?
Angela Montenegro: Bail? For what?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I told you, don't worry. The murder charge won't stick.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Murder charge?
Angela Montenegro: Brennan? The next plane. The next plane, okay? Or I'm coming down there to get you myself.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Everything's fine. I'm healing up satisfactorily. Bye for now.
[hangs up]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Healing up?

Angela Montenegro: I keep asking for a baby tee that says "The Big Easy."

[Brennan is on the phone with the squints in D.C. and Angela overhears Booth]
Angela Montenegro: Is that Booth?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Yes.
Angela Montenegro: You're hopping the streetcar named Desire with Booth?
[looks at Zack]
Angela Montenegro: Oh, I love this.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Booth, objects have no intrinsic power. A person's future does not depend on some thing. Things are just things. They do not have magical meaning or powers.
[Booth reveals the missing earring]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Where'd you get that?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What does it matter? It's just a thing. Right?
[Booth hands her the earring]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: My mother's earring.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No, uh... magical power over your future.
[Booth gets up and leaves]
Angela Montenegro: Does that prove something?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [looking at Earring] Yeah.
[looking after Booth]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: It proves something.

"Bones: The Con Man in the Meth Lab (#4.8)" (2008)

Dr. Jack Hodgins: You said you didn't want to work with us anymore.
Dr. Clark Edison: No. I said my preferred work style tends towards the professional. See my tie? That's an indicator.
Angela Montenegro: Mmhmm. So why'd you come back then?
Dr. Clark Edison: Because this is the finest forensic facility in the world.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: You want to fight MIGs you fly MIG alley, right?

Dr. Temperance Brennan: [after Angela meets Jared Booth] Are you thinking of leaving lesbianism behind?
Angela Montenegro: I prefer not to be labelled, okay?

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Can I offer you a little insight into Booth's little brother?
Dr. Clark Edison: Oh God, why am I always standing in precisely the wrong place?
[Clark starts to leave]
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I didn't have sex with him, Cam.
Angela Montenegro: [Angela enters] Didn't have sex with who?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Jared Booth.
Angela Montenegro: Good.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Good? Why good?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Because... because...
Angela Montenegro: Because he's Booth's little brother. And it would just be a creepy way to have sex with a Booth without having sex with the *real* Booth.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Kudos Angela. I would not have had the guts to say that out loud.

Angela Montenegro: Jared is Booth lite. Booth is the real Booth.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Waht if Booth is Booth lite.

"Bones: The Man in the Bear (#1.4)" (2005)

Angela Montenegro: Somebody gnawed on this arm like some kind of... man corn?

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Human flesh tastes like frogs legs.
Angela Montenegro: As if I need another reason never to eat frogs.

Angela Montenegro: The skin in the scat has a sun on it.
Sheriff Chris Scutter: What is that? A haiku?

Angela Montenegro: You're kidding ? It's like watching the clash of the horny Titans.

"Bones: The Girl in the Fridge (#1.8)" (2005)

Zack Addy: [holds his fist up in the 'respect' sign]
[pause]
Zack Addy: You're supposed to bang your fist against mine.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Why?
Zack Addy: I'm told it's a widely accepted gesture for mutual success...
[trails off]
Angela Montenegro: I love it when you two impersonate earthlings.

Angela Montenegro: [Brennan leaves with Michael] A man who stops her working? Now this I gotta see.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: [about Michael] We're friends. We're colleagues. That's all.
Angela Montenegro: Colleagues with benefits.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: I'm sorry if that's difficult for you to understand, but what we have isn't traditional.
Angela Montenegro: Don't talk to me about traditional, okay? I've dated circus people.

"Bones: The Boneless Bride in the River (#2.16)" (2007)

Angela Montenegro: [after watching Zack's attempt to use a balloon in place of a skull] That's just perverse.

Angela Montenegro: [to Zack and Cam] You know what you people lack? Whimsy. It's a genuine handicap.

Dr. Zack Addy: [to Cam] I think I have an idea for the face, if you can remove the head from the rest of the skin sack.
Angela Montenegro: Please, God, I am not out of earshot yet!

Dr. Camille Saroyan: [as Hodgins and Zack are inflating a head] This is - it's absolutely -
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Brilliant?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Useless! You need the exact shape of a skull to get a likeness. Not just a - This - Turn that off!
[Angela walks in]
Angela Montenegro: Oh my God! You guys are perverse!

"Bones: The Science in the Physicist (#4.18)" (2009)

Angela Montenegro: [Rising up] Sweetie, can you pay for this? I have to go.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Sure. Why?
Angela Montenegro: I have to save Hodgins's life.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Speaking of Angela's father] I am *not* scared of him.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Okay. Okay. You know that whole-that whole "sell your soul at the crossroads" thing? I'm buying it! You gotta run for it man!
Angela Montenegro: I told you so.
[Angela leaves]
Dr. Lance Sweets: Yeah. You know what? I secretly had a thing for Angela, now it's gone! Like-like wiped from the memory banks.

Billy Gibbons: Could he have stopped it?
Angela Montenegro: Yeah... Yeah... But so could I.
Billy Gibbons: Well, his daddy could come down and kick your ass.
[Angela laughs]
Billy Gibbons: I can't do everyone's job.
Angela Montenegro: I wish you wouldn't.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Okay, listen... We just gotta stop hanging out with geniuses because you're gonna figure out that I'm really stupid.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What? Don't worry about that.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hmm?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I figured out a long time ago how stupid you are.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hmm.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What I just said is... true. And yet it... really sounded wrong. What I should say is that I don't care how stupid you are... It's not any better?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No. No. Not at all.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [the squints join them] Okay, well, there is intelligence which I have, and Mr. Nigel-Murray.
Vincent Nigel-Murray: Oh thank you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: And Sweets, even though, his is so misdirected as to be meaningless.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Wow. Backhand full of knuckles with that compliment.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: And Hodgins... And Angela... not so much, but she's very talented.
Angela Montenegro: Thank you very much.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You're welcome. But then there's another quality. Which is the ability to use intelligence. That is what you have.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Thanks Bones.

"Bones: The Skull in the Sculpture (#4.7)" (2008)

Dr. Lance Sweets: [Sitting together at a restaurant over dinner helping Angela work out her feelings and how she should go about her pursuing a her relationship with Roxie] It's exactly the same situation as the last time you were sitting here. Except, you know, you're quieter.
Angela Montenegro: No, that was about Hodgins. This is about Roxie.
Dr. Lance Sweets: [Loudly] You want to have sex with Roxie!
Angela Montenegro: What was that about quieter?
Dr. Lance Sweets: I'm sorry, I'm not certain you're being guided by your brain, that's all. Need can be confused with love. Fantasy can convince us that what we are feeling is love.
Angela Montenegro: So, you're saying is that this is all rebound?
Dr. Lance Sweets: Yeah.
Angela Montenegro: No, you don't understand love, Sweets.
Dr. Lance Sweets: I'm not as innocent as you might think.
Angela Montenegro: You have this bourgeois notion...
Dr. Lance Sweets: Bourgeois?
Angela Montenegro: ...that in order for love to be real it has to be permanent. Nothing is permanent. That's just a fact. We move in and out of loving other people, but that doesn't make the love any less real.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Mm-hmm, perhaps you're saying this because you haven't met the love of your life.
Angela Montenegro: I have actually. Many times.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Fine. It seems to me that you always leave yourself an escape hatch in your relationships, because you afraid of commitment.
Angela Montenegro: Nice try. But no. Actually, I commit to every person I love.
Dr. Lance Sweets: You marry a man and then conveniently forget that you married him because you got zonked on Kava Kava. That compromises your relationship with Hodgins so that ends, along with the marriage. Now you say you have these intense feelings for an ex-lover whose heart you've already broken. Don't you see the potential disaster here?
Angela Montenegro: Look, you said that, without the possibility of pain, there can be no joy, no real love.
Dr. Lance Sweets: I said that? That's beautiful.
Angela Montenegro: Look... I don't want to hurt Roxie again.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Then Don't. Don't. Put her welfare first. Let Roxie decide if she's ready to pursue this relationship.
Angela Montenegro: Okay. And what if she doesn't?
Dr. Lance Sweets: Then I'm afraid you'll have to live with that pain.

Angela Montenegro: So you brought me along. What can I do to help you?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I want you to be an artist, okay? And uh, keep me from looking like an idiot.
Angela Montenegro: Not positive I can do both.

Anton Deluca: [as Booth is handcuffing Anton] When this case falls apart, I get out tomorrow, want to grab some dinner or something?
Angela Montenegro: You're kidding.
Anton Deluca: Well, I hear the gate swings both ways. Maybe we get some threesome action. You, me, Hottie Roxie.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hey!
[Booth slams Anton's head against the table]
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Okay, all right, if you're gonna hit on Angela, you should do it with a little respect. Okay? Let's go.

Angela Montenegro: I honestly didn't think it would be murder.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Which makes your conclusion all the more credible.
Angela Montenegro: Only you would find that comforting.

"Bones: A Boy in a Bush (#1.5)" (2005)

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [to Angela who just said something scientific] I mean you look normal. You act normal. But you're actually one of them.
Angela Montenegro: This whole mass-recognition program was Brennan's idea. I'm completely normal, really.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah. Maybe before you got this job. But now...

Dr. Daniel Goodman: That is not a tuxedo, Dr. Hodgins.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I am not going, Dr. Goodman.
Dr. Daniel Goodman: You are going.
[places name tag in Dr. Hodgins' pocket]
Dr. Daniel Goodman: When we arrive, the donors will all be wearing name tags.
Zack Addy: What do we talk about?
Dr. Daniel Goodman: Your work, of course.
Angela Montenegro: Zack's work consists of removing flesh from corpses. Hodgins dissects bugs that have been eating people's eyeballs.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Leave me out of it - I am not going.
Dr. Daniel Goodman: And how do you see your job?
Angela Montenegro: [sighs] I draw death masks.
Dr. Daniel Goodman: Is that really how you see it?
Angela Montenegro: Don't you?
Dr. Daniel Goodman: You are the best of us, Miss Montenegro. You discern humanity in the wreck of a ruined human body. You give victims back their faces, their identities. You remind us all of why we're here in the first place - because we treasure human life.
[Angela hugs Dr. Goodman]
Dr. Daniel Goodman: Oh, for God's sake.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: What happened?
Zack Addy: Apparently all Angela needed was to hear her job description in a deep African-American tone.

Angela Montenegro: Anger is only fear turned inwards.

Angela Montenegro: I wouldn't bet a date with Colin Farrell on it.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I know him. He's funny.
Angela Montenegro: That's Will Ferrell, sweetie. Colin Farrell is hot.

"Bones: The Critic in the Cabernet (#4.24)" (2009)

Angela Montenegro: You do know how this is supposed to work, right?... You get naked together, and you devour each other in a passionate frenzy.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth would think that would create an emotional bond between us.
Angela Montenegro: ...Of course that's ridiculous.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I knew you would understand.

Angela Montenegro: Listen, you said you wanted to do this alone because feelings are ephermeral. So is life, Brennan. We're here one minute and then we're gone the next. You should know that better than anybody! If you keep living trying to protect yourself, nothing is ever going to touch you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Sweets said that it's not his job to tell somebody what they're feeling or how they should live their life.
Angela Montenegro: Lucky, I'm not a shrink.

Angela Montenegro: Then why use Booth at all? Why don't you use Fisher... and his discount sperm?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No, Booth has a bigger mandible and a more prominent zygomatic than Fisher, as well as a more pronounced ratio between the width of his clavicles and his ilia.
Angela Montenegro: So, it's because Booth is hot?

"Bones: The Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood (#5.4)" (2009)

Parker Booth: I want to see the barbecued body.
Angela Montenegro: Well, I agree that does sound awesome. But I have face paints that your dad will never be able to get off no matter how hard he scrubs. They're basically tattoos.
Parker Booth: Okay, I'm with you.

Parker Booth: Do you have a boyfriend?
Angela Montenegro: No. I'm on a celibacy kick. It's been 5 months, and 9 days, Which in celibacy time is 400 years.

Angela Montenegro: You're going to tell me to stop looking through all this stuff now, aren't you?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: I'm afraid so. I'll go tell Booth about the lube.
Angela Montenegro: [Cam leaves. To Arastoo] Spoilsport. Finding likely murder weapons way too fast.

"Bones: The Baby in the Bough (#3.12)" (2008)

Angela Montenegro: [holding the baby] Get used to it. I want like a million of these.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Cool.
[Angela walks away]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: What do you think she meant by a million? Two?

Angela Montenegro: [Angela walks up to Bones and Booth when they discuss evidence and ignore the baby] Okay you two better get your act together or I'm suing for custody.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Because a million seems a little impractical.
Angela Montenegro: I don't know. I kind of have a thing for chaos. I guess I'll stop when the Feds need to airlift me in supplies.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: You don't by any chance, live in a shoe, do you?
Angela Montenegro: You don't want kids?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Screaming, crying, vomit, other bodily fluids; it's just like a day around here. Not worth giving up this body for *that*.

"Bones: The Man in the Wall (#1.6)" (2005)

Dr. Temperance Brennan: How does my costume look?
Angela Montenegro: Sweetie, that's not a costume, that's an outfit, and you look hot!

Angela Montenegro: TGIF. Ever hear of that?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Some kind of acronym?

Angela Montenegro: [to Brennan] You dig dead bodies out of mass graves, and yanking out a bellybutton ring makes you sick?

"Bones: Pilot (#1.1)" (2005)

Angela Montenegro: Can I, as the only normal person in this room, say...”eww"?

Angela Montenegro: Glug, glug, woohoo!

Angela Montenegro: [to the airport worker behind counter] Excuse me. Uh, you have a computer glitch at the arrivals board.
[man ignores Angela]
Angela Montenegro: Hello. Sir, excuse me. Yoo-hoo.
[man gestures for Angela to wait and continues to type]
Angela Montenegro: Great.
[Angela flashes him; he stops working]
Angela Montenegro: Yeah. Hi. The flight from Guatemala.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: [from behind] Tell me you tried "excuse me" first.

"Bones: The Blonde in the Game (#2.4)" (2006)

Angela Montenegro: This is my bo-ho rocker artist, mid-week, take-a-deep-breath-and-pout look.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: You said you've dealt with manipulative men before.
Angela Montenegro: Sweetie, this is a psycho killer, not some loser who wants you to co-sign a loan for his jet-ski.

Angela Montenegro: For the record, I hate the guy who killed this girl and I hope to Hell he burns for all eternity.

"Bones: The Man in the Fallout Shelter (#1.9)" (2005)

Angela Montenegro: [trying to convince Brennan to come to the Christmas party by reminding her what happened the last time she didn't go with her] I need you. Friends don't let friends photocopy their butts at company Christmas parties.

Angela Montenegro: Okay, you people, listen to me. There is a party going on upstairs. A *Christmas* party. We're going up there. We're gonna talk to some people, we're gonna sing some carols, we're gonna drink some eggnog.
Angela Montenegro: [to Booth] *You* are going to kiss me under the mistletoe. On the lips.
Angela Montenegro: [to Zack and Hodgins] I might kiss you guys under the mistletoe, too.
Angela Montenegro: [to Bones] And maybe even you. In a festive, non-lesbian manner. But we are *going* to that party.

Angela Montenegro: Friends don't let friends photocopy their butts at company Christmas parties.

"Bones: The Salt in the Wounds (#4.16)" (2009)

Angela Montenegro: So this, right now, this isn't together?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It was a moment, a great moment. But all great moments pass.

Angela Montenegro: But all beauty is transient and of the moment.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Like a sunset is beautiful.
Angela Montenegro: Sounds like we're in agreement, which is worrying me just a little.

Angela Montenegro: I also had a little afternoon delight with Hodgins, but let's just say it's not really his thing.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Again, I'm sorry.
Angela Montenegro: No, it's totally fine.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Then why tell me?
Angela Montenegro: Brennan approves of the way I conduct my love life.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Oh.
Angela Montenegro: Yeah.

"Bones: Aliens in a Spaceship (#2.9)" (2006)

Angela Montenegro: I came to visit you at the hospital. I brought you this.
[holds up a teddy bear]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: They-they let me go home.
Angela Montenegro: No, they didn't. You left without being discharged. You stole crutches, which I had to pay for.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: They packed me. Pumped me full of antibiotics. Dished me up and gave me painkillers. So, so, I'm-I'm good to go.
Angela Montenegro: Could you please look at me? You were buried alive. You were operated on without an anesthetic. You were pumped full of drugs. You really should be lying down.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: He's out there, Angela. He buries people alive. I have to catch him. If I can figure out the exact alloy of aluminum, then maybe I could... maybe we could... plus the bit of bumper sticker that Brennan found in my leg...
Angela Montenegro: We're gonna catch him. Okay? I promise you. We're gonna start tomorrow. All of us together.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I can't sleep, Angela.
Angela Montenegro: I thought they gave you something for that.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: No, I mean... I'm afraid that... if I close my eyes... when I open them... I'm gonna be back in that car... buried... running out of air...
Angela Montenegro: Okay. Then you should come home with me.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: What?
Angela Montenegro: When you open your eyes, I'll be there.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah?
Angela Montenegro: Yeah.
[pause]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: You know I'm good for that crutch money.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: God does not make mistakes.
Angela Montenegro: I don't know - putting testicles on the outside doesn't seem like such a good idea.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: The Grave Digger is not God, Bones, because God does not make mistakes.
Angela Montenegro: Mmm I don't know. Putting testicles on the outside didn't seem like such a good idea.

"Bones: The Beaver in the Otter (#4.23)" (2009)

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Looks like someone took a flamethrower to sasquatch.
Angela Montenegro: Well, this is what he was supposed to look like.
[Shows Cam a picture of the Mascot]
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Someone finally killed a mascot?

Arastoo Vaziri: I have never seen so many foreign objects in human remains. Arrows, marbles, jacks, various coins, cutlery. My best guess is: nuclear explosion just as the victim entered a 99 Cent Store.
Angela Montenegro: Well, uh, close. He was shot by a blenderbus, pelted by an angry mob, and then burned.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Now that's what I call team spirit.
[They look at Cam strangely]
Dr. Camille Saroyan: I'm a wisecracking Pathologist with a dark sense of humor.

"Bones: The Girl in Suite 2103 (#2.6)" (2006)

Dr. Jack Hodgins: I could kiss you!
Angela Montenegro: That requires permission... which I deny.

Zack Addy: [about the explosion experiment] I don't understand what happened.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [excited] Ohh, you know what that proves?
Angela Montenegro: That you guys are idiots?

"Bones: The Princess and the Pear (#4.14)" (2009)

Angela Montenegro: So you didn't actually paralyze him?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No. The Vicodin seems to be working. He claims it makes the furniture feel friendly. But he'll be on bed rest for the remainder of the week.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Picking up the sword] Whoa ho ho! Excalibur!
[Hodgins lifts the sword]
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I am the once-and-future king!
Angela Montenegro: Way to not be creepy.

"Bones: The Woman in Limbo (#1.22)" (2006)

Angela Montenegro: Hate is easier to deal with than love, especially disappointed love.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Any of you see Bones? Okay, we're due in court like - hello! - *now*. What?
Angela Montenegro: This...
[activates hologram showing an image]
Angela Montenegro: ...totally freaked her out.
Zack Addy: [Booth starts dialing on his cell phone] My theory: caffeine intolerance.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [speaking into his phone] Yeah. You're gonna want to take Dr. Brennan off the witness list today... No. She can't make it into court. Thanks.
Angela Montenegro: All right. What's going on?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That... is Christine Brennan.
Dr. Daniel Goodman: Good God.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You just found Bones' mother.

"Bones: The Tough Man in the Tender Chicken (#5.6)" (2009)

Angela Montenegro: How are we friends? H-how is it possible? I mean we have nothing in common.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What? You don't want to be friends any more because the pig is cute?

Angela Montenegro: Can I ask you something? What is wrong with everyone here?
Dr. Lance Sweets: Uh, well you had a falling out with your best friend over a pig. Your perspective is sckewed. It's time to... reconnect with humanity. Gain a little perspective.
Angela Montenegro: All right, so... if I have sex, will you donate to save my pig?
Dr. Lance Sweets: ...That's not really the poing I was trying to... We'll revisit the pig question.

"Bones: The Double Death of the Dearly Departed (#4.21)" (2009)

Angela Montenegro: Hey, you stole the body?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No. No. No. No. We didn't steal it, you see? We *borrowed* it. Okay? Cam and Bones think it was translated.
Angela Montenegro: Uh, what?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Translated. It's code for murder. That's how we're saying it today. Translated.

Angela Montenegro: [while using Booth's computer] So while I'm in here, mind if I erase a few parking tickets?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Tell you what, you know I'm not going to relax until we get Hank's body back in that casket. All right?

"Bones: The Cinderella in the Cardboard (#4.19)" (2009)

Angela Montenegro: Where did this come from?
Wendell Bray: Egyptology Department.
Angela Montenegro: They let you borrow it?
Wendell Bray: Well, no one was using it.
Angela Montenegro: Tell me you're kidding.
Wendell Bray: No. I left a note.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Is that your reason? Because weren't you and Angela sexually compatible?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [pause] It's not about the sex. I was looking for a meaningful connection.
Angela Montenegro: I get it Jack.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: You do?
Angela Montenegro: Yeah.

"Bones: Harbingers in a Fountain (#5.1)" (2009)

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Isn't this great? Us, back together again. Chasing criminals.
Angela Montenegro: Yeah. Pit full of mass murder victims. What's not to love.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: And that ladies, *that* is why they call me "King of the Lab."
Angela Montenegro: Nobody does that but you.

"Bones: A Night at the Bones Museum (#5.5)" (2009)

Dr. Jack Hodgins: The urine of a red headed boy.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: We need *so* much more that that.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: From the swab of Dr. Kaswell's eye.
Angela Montenegro: A red headed boy peed on her eye?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Well, not exactly.

Angela Montenegro: Wait, this is his boss's boss. Was Booth upset?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes. I don't know why.
Angela Montenegro: Brennan, this could screw up the natural order of things. And Booth wishes you were going out with him.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I drink with him all the time, but with Andrew there's the potential for sex.
Angela Montenegro: And not with Booth?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: ...You - you said there was something important for me to see.

"Bones: The End in the Beginning (#4.25)" (2009)

Angela Montenegro: Julian warned us that you have to make an arrest in the case. I just wanted to say that just because Jared Booth and I went out on a couple of dates and he cannot accept the fact that it is going nowhere, does not mean I should got to jail.
Jared Booth: Didn't your lawyer tell you not to answer any questions you weren't asked?
Detective Camille Saroyan: [to Julian] Should I mark your people down as stupid or uncooperative?
Caroline Julian: Put them down as well represented.

Temperance 'Bren' Brennan: What about entertainment?
Angela Montenegro: I thought Sweets was fantabulisticulous.
Seeley 'Mr. B' Booth: Nah. We got the Crue.
Temperance 'Bren' Brennan: What crew?

"Bones: The Bones That Foam (#4.15)" (2009)

Angela Montenegro: Maybe *I* can help... Why is it that nobody every says to me "Gee Angela, this looks impossible but maybe *you're* the person would could solve the problem."

Angela Montenegro: Because what Booth has can't be learned from baby-boy shrink. Booth's brilliant at pretending to be stupider than he actually is, most of the time.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Brilliant at stupidity?
Angela Montenegro: Especially around you. Okay here's what Newcomb's skeleton looke like 12 hours ago.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why would Booth do that?
Angela Montenegro: Well, he knows you like to be the smart one. So he let's you have that.

"Bones: The Man in the Cell (#2.12)" (2007)

Angela Montenegro: [referring to Bones's gun] Oh my God. That- That thing is huge. Wow that's like movie huge.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yeah it's pretty big, right. Bigger than the one you have.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Excuse me, it's not the size that matters. It's how you *use* it.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well I think size is pretty important.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: The point is you shouldn't have a gun in the first place.
Angela Montenegro: If you do have one, bigger is always better.

"Bones: The Perfect Pieces in the Purple Pond (#4.4)" (2008)

Angela Montenegro: All right, these are children's shoes, but they're size 11.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: So you think are victim was a giant toddler?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No. That would show up in the bones.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Sarcasm does not play with on the forensic platform.

Wendell Bray: I don't get you people. I'd like to work here but it's like a minefield, too many ways to step wrong.
Angela Montenegro: I admit it takes some getting used to... Good luck.

"Bones: The Bond in the Boot (#5.2)" (2009)

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Do you believe James Bond killed our victim?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Well no, but come on. There was more than a grain of truth in those James Bond films.
Angela Montenegro: Pussy Galore? That's never gonna happen.
Wendell Bray: Well we can alway hope.
Angela Montenegro: Boys and their spy fantasies.

Angela Montenegro: I hate to break it to you, Jack. But you're the guy who studies bugs, slime and poop. Hardly assasination worthy.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Hey, a lot of people would like to see me dead.
Angela Montenegro: I'm not going to touch that one.

"Bones: The Hero in the Hold (#4.13)" (2009)

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Brennan, I'm telling you, the answer is there... Ten hours.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Long pause] Eight. And Dr. Hodgins is never left alone!
Angela Montenegro: You don't trust him?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No, I don't.

Angela Montenegro: Listen to me Brennan. Somebody you love is buried alive! You're allowed to save them no matter how irrational.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I don't love Booth.
Angela Montenegro: Yes you do. So do I. So do all of us. Just take my advice and hand over the evidence and get Booth.

"Bones: The Plain in the Prodigy (#5.3)" (2009)

Dr. Camille Saroyan: When do teenagers start having sex?
Angela Montenegro: Hello!
Dr. Jack Hodgins: If they could, they'd start in the morning and go until they drop.

Angela Montenegro: Hey listen, Cam. Every teenager goes through this. Think about what you went through.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Me? Oh god!
[Cam start to run off]
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Wh-What am I going to do?

"Bones: Stargazer in a Puddle (#2.21)" (2007)

Caroline Julian: [after having confirmed that she is already married, Angela and Hodgins frantically try to figure out what to do about the wedding] Run!
Angela Montenegro: What?
Caroline Julian: Flee! Scram! Skedaddle!

"Bones: Intern in the Incinerator (#3.6)" (2007)

Angela Montenegro: I don't sleep with married men.
Dr. Zack Addy: You're married, and you sleep with men besides your husband. What's the difference?
[Hodgins slaps Zack on the back of the head]
Dr. Zack Addy: Ow!

"Bones: The Girl with the Curl (#2.7)" (2006)

Angela Montenegro: Childhood should be all about swings.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Swings?
Angela Montenegro: You know how high can I go, if I twist the chains how fast will I spin.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Or if I try and jump off before the swing stops.
Angela Montenegro: Exactly.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I miss that feeling.
Angela Montenegro: Yeah me too.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I miss organic chemistry class, those were good times.
Zack Addy: I miss my first microscope.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Great, yeah and I miss normal people can we go on?

"Bones: The Girl in the Gator (#2.13)" (2007)

Angela Montenegro: [to Zack] Just because you have a doctorate now doesn't mean I won't use you as a swizzle stick.

"Bones: The Girl in the Mask (#4.22)" (2009)

Angela Montenegro: Then I bypassed the password protection by hacking into the server where his webaddress is registered.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Why do I feel like my checking account isn't safe?

"Bones: The Priest in the Churchyard (#2.17)" (2007)

Dr. Gordon Wyatt: [after Angela tells him he was wrong about Booth and Bones's issue] I stand by my diagnosis.
Angela Montenegro: You stand by the FBI. Your first priority is to get Agents back in the field solving murders.
[Wyatt chuckles]
Dr. Gordon Wyatt: Your romanticism is endearing but as the bard says "Lovers and madmen have such seething brains such shaping fantasies that apprehend more than cool reason could comprehend."
Angela Montenegro: He also says "Journeys end in lovers meeting every wise man's son doth know."

"Bones: Two Bodies in the Lab (#1.15)" (2006)

Angela Montenegro: So, how do you like David? It's not often you can interrogate a guy on a first date.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I like him. Booth still doesn't approve but I told him to mind his own business.
Angela Montenegro: Booth is a big, strong, hot guy who wants to save your life. I mean, you actually have a knight in shining FBI standard-issue body armor, so cut him some slack.

"Bones: The Bone That Blew (#4.10)" (2008)

Dr. Camille Saroyan: For an artist, you make a pretty good detective.
Angela Montenegro: I think you just insulted me.

"Bones: The Man on the Fairway (#1.14)" (2006)

Angela Montenegro: [to Zack and Hodgins who claim they're conducting an experiment to help with the investigation] Liars! You just wanted to see what happens when you toss a frozen pig into a wood-chipper.

"Bones: The Woman in the Tunnel (#1.16)" (2006)

Dr. Temperance Brennan: You're nervous.
Angela Montenegro: I'm not nervous, I'm scared. I don't know how to talk to crazy people unless I'm dating them.

"Bones: Mummy in the Maze (#3.5)" (2007)

Angela Montenegro: Just remind him of who I am and ask him politely.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: What are you, Canadian?

"Bones: The Headless Witch in the Woods (#2.10)" (2006)

Dr. Jack Hodgins: What's with the music?
Angela Montenegro: It helps to muffle the screams so I don't pass out every few seconds.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Smart.

"Bones: The Skull in the Desert (#1.17)" (2006)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Obviously you subconsciously sifted through the rational facts of the case and processed the most likely scenario.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'm sure that's it.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, what else could it be?
Angela Montenegro: It's the only rational explanation.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Wait, are you guys making fun of me?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Let's go back home. You know, where there's water and shelter and living things? Come on.

"Bones: The Woman in the Garden (#1.13)" (2006)

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Typically, grave diggers are necrophiliacs looking for a little action.
Angela Montenegro: Um... ew.

"Bones: The Santa in the Slush (#3.9)" (2007)

Angela Montenegro: You know, this is our first Christmas as a couple.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Aww, too bad Santa's dead.

"Bones: Bodies in the Book (#2.15)" (2007)

Angela Montenegro: Testosterone spill on aisle four!

"Bones: A Boy in a Tree (#1.3)" (2005)

Angela Montenegro: [to Zack] Just do it, Z-man. Reap the benefits of my sexual wisdom.

"Bones: Boy in the Time Capsule (#3.7)" (2007)

Angela Montenegro: [removing contents from the time capsule] One year book-Foothill High, 1987.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: [checking list of contents] Check; dehydrate and scan.
Angela Montenegro: [reading year book] "Have a great summer, don't ever change." Remember those days?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: I remember getting grounded every weekend, so many rules to break, so little time.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: You were a nerd fantasy.
Angela Montenegro: I was all about Barbie.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: She was my first anatomy lesson, I was confused for years.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: What about Ken, I felt so sorry for him.

"Bones: The Titan on the Track (#2.1)" (2006)

Lisa Supac: [after advising Dr. Brennan and the rest of the team the Turko will only get 10 years for his involvement in the train crash] It's 10 years or nothing. I can only work with what I'm given, and the forensic work on this was not good enough.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: What?
Lisa Supac: You were fooled by fake dental records, you baked some spam.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: What did you want us to do?
Lisa Supac: Your jobs.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hey!
Dr. Camille Saroyan: No, Ms. Supek, you want us to do your job. My people gave you all the evidence you need to fry Turko with any reasonable jury.
Lisa Supac: Forensically...
Dr. Camille Saroyan: We gave you everything you needed to arrest Turko.
Lisa Supac: Arrest is not a conviction.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: We definitely gave you enough to reject his plea bargain and indict him in the wrongful death of a Senator.
Lisa Supac: Indictment is not a conviction.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You accept that plea bargain and the investigation stops.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Indict him. Give us time to get you what you need.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: If you accept this plea bargain, you don't deserve to be a Federal Prosecutor.
Lisa Supac: Dr. Saroyan!
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Yeah, it's scary. The whole country'll be watching the trial and you don't want to go in with less than a sure thing. But you put my people on the stand as expert witnesses and that's a sure thing.
Dr. Temperance Brennan, Dr. Jack Hodgins, Angela Montenegro: [together] Not Zack.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: You can tell the story of what happened using the evidence these people provided, and if you any ability as a prosecutor you'll win the case.
Lisa Supac: Are you finished?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: No, Ms. Supeck. In the future when you have problems with my team, you'll register them with me, in private, not by grand standing in a public forum.

"Bones: The Soldier on the Grave (#1.21)" (2006)

Angela Montenegro: You have to think before you speak.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Why? I can say anything to you without thinking about it first.
Angela Montenegro: Yeah, men aren't like us. They're much more fragile and needy. The fact that they think we're the needy ones is a testament to our superiority.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Yeah. I guess I forgot.

"Bones: The Truth in the Lye (#2.5)" (2006)

Dr. Jack Hodgins: [holding up a wedding band] Braided gold and platinum - preserved by true love, no doubt.
Angela Montenegro: One metal for each desperate housewife.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: People, can we at least fake some sense of decorum?
Angela Montenegro: I can't help it - it's so Jerry Springer!

"Bones: The Man with the Bone (#1.18)" (2006)

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: [Looking at the bones of an allegedly pirate on the computer screen] Maybe they're right. Maybe this man died buring a treasure. Ironic. Stealing all that and never enjoying the spoils.
Angela Montenegro: So you believe there's treasure?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I believe there's greed. That's the real curse.

"Bones: Yanks in the U.K. (#4.1)" (2008)

Dr. Camille Saroyan: [Arrives at work after having ended up sleeping with Angela's ex] Sorry I'm late, what did I miss?
Dr. Clark Edison: [Irritated that Angela and Jack seem more interested in planning their honeymoon than concentrating on work] Oh, were deciding between Maine and Jamaica for the wedding.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Did Angela's ex get off okay?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: [Flinches] Whoa! Sorry?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: [Not realising the double meaning of his own question] You took him to the airport?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Oh, "off"! Of... of course. Yes. He's off... and gone. All gone.
Angela Montenegro: Great. Thank you for doing that.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Anytime.
[Takes a breath of relief]
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Either Maine or Jamaica, you really can't go wrong.
[Awkward pause]
Dr. Camille Saroyan: I should... Bye.
[Hurries away]